How Does An Empath (HSP) Refrain From Anger

I found this question as a search in my Scribd.com account.  Someone asked it, and I am attempting to respond to it.  Anger is a key emotion.  There are many walking the Earth that have anger, deep anger.  For the  empath that can be devastating.  There is also personal anger that is brought on my some perceive injustice.  To help, I am letting you know of some techniques that you can try to relieve anger.  Many of these techniques will work for all emotions.
 
There are several techniques.  Each technique has its place.

Let us start with an easy one.  Say your walking on the Earth and you get around people who are angry at the world.  It's easy to pick this anger up and make it your own.  The technique here is to just let it go.  Let the anger go and don't hold on to it.  Let it pass through you like a river passing through a garden.  You don't have to hold on to an emotion to understand it.  You can just understand as it flows.  If you want to help these people, listening to them is the best way.  They need to talk things out.

Which leads us to a technique that is a little more proactive.  When you've been with someone for a time, their anger and emotions tend to stay with you.  What you can do is to push these emotions out.  You need to get away from everyone (about 50 feet) and work on breathing.  With every exhale you push the anger and emotion out.  With every inhale, you take in the emotion from the Earth and/or the Sky (or Heavens).  Actually, I like to inhale love directly from the Creator, but it takes a little practice to reach the Creator in the first place.

Another technique is a basic one for all empaths and HSPs, to ground or to center.  What you do is that every so often you get away from everyone (again about 50 ft) and be calm and get in touch with your own emotions (credit Elise Lebeau's Empath Survival Program).  This helps you to distinguish your emotions from other people's emotions.  Serenity is the key here.  If you do this periodically, you remember what its like and you don't get out of control anger as a habit.

What happens when the anger is yours?  When you have been wronged?

The first thing to try is to resolve the anger by understanding the nature of the act.  This may involve talking with the offender directly.  This is rarely successful since acts are usually deliberate.  This may help if the act was an accident.  If and when you do try this, do some grounding or centering first.  This will give the technique more of a chance.

So what do you do when the injustice against you was deliberate and even done in a selfish act by the offender?  Ideally forgiveness is the best, but its not always possible.  To forgive someone is to acknowledge the act and hold no ill will on the offender.  Often it's easier to forgive if the offender is regretful.  They are not always regretful.  Of course forgiveness as a technique is in religion.  Some religions put pressure on saying that bad things will happen to you if you don't forgive.  I say working to the point of forgiveness is just as good.

If you cannot forgive, get away.  Get away from the offender as far as possible.  Distrust them.  Don't communicate with them.  This is obviously self defensive in nature.  You do have to protect yourself.  Some people will stay in the situation.  I don't recommend that.  The sooner you get away from the situation the better and the sooner you can heal.  This may sound selfish, but you cannot help others if your hurt.  You will only get angrier and angrier if your around the offender.

To go further, there is a technique that is called chord cutting.  This techniques severs the emotional connection you have with the offender.  What you do is you imagine the connection with the offender as a chord or rope or rubber tube.  I like the rubber tube.  Stretch the chord and keep stretching, keep on stretching, until the chord breaks.  Then sit quietly without thinking and feel the peace.  This gives a sense of security and freedom from the power of the offender.

There is another type of anger I like to talk about.  It's the anger that comes because you seem to not get anywhere, or you don't make the advances you want to make.  For this type you need to make sure you don't have any road blocks.  By that I mean you remove anything that can get in the way of your goals.  Then you get into a meditative state and feel yourself pushing toward your goal.  Do this several times and you should see yourself going in the right direction.  This should relieve the anger.

Well, I covered several techniques to help deal with anger.  I will caution you against seeking revenge.  Revenge serves little purpose other than selfish ones, and causes more damage and possibly escalation of a conflict.  Above all you should seek to follow the Golden Rule: treat others as you want to be treated.  This will avoid much anger in the first place.

Choosing Good

Every day we have a choice.  We can choose to do good, that is by helping others.  We also have a choice to do bad, that is to disregard the lives of others.  This choice runs our lives and directs our steps.  Why should anyone choose to help anyone else?  It takes time, effort, and sometimes money.  Let us look at what is in it for us when we choose to do good by considering the Golden Rule , multiversal love, and the good feeling.

Treat others as you want to be treated.  Thus says the Golden Rule that exists in many mainstream religions.  This is a principle command or suggestion to behave.  The idea is that you should help those in need, and one day you might be in need and get helped the same way.  This kind of helping others is basic.  You see someone in physical distress, like in the story of the good Samaritan, and you provide assistance.  This is so basic that laws called the Good Samaritan laws were created.  This principle is also enacted when someone gives first aid or CPR.  I think this principle goes beyond the physical.  You can help others when they are in emotional distress as well.  Often it involves listening to them, and letting them figure things out or talk through the emotion.  The one thing you should never do is try to help someone who doesn't want help.  Yes, your time is most likely to be used when you try to help someone.  Also, your emotional expense will be required.  When you need help and find others helping you, you think about helping others in return.

Emulate love.  It's said that love comes from within.  If we love ourselves we can love others.  If we love others we love ourselves.  If we love ourselves we should love humanity in general.  Showing that love is to help others, whether you know them or like them or not.  Counter to common thinking, you don't have to like someone to show love.  You don't have to agree with them.  You don't even have to believe them.  Showing love is often in spite of the person your loving.  We have an innate need to love.  We also have an innate need to be loved.  If we withhold love for anyone, will love be withheld from us?  Life tends to balance itself.  It may just balance itself on you.

The good feeling.  Volunteers who help people often talk about the good feeling they get.  It's true.  There is a good feeling when you help others.  I've felt this when feeding the homeless, when teaching, when helping the wounded, or helping the distressed.  I guess you can say I'm a good feeling junky.  Somehow I think its a good addiction.  Conversely, I have felt bad passing by those in need.  I have felt bad ignoring those who were in distress.  When I have no time, I have felt bad.  I hate that feeling.  I'd rather help.  I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to be better.  Yeah, you can try to reason through your action of ignoring, but your just justifying and enforcing a bad habit that reflects on your person.

Taking into account the Golden Rule, multiversal love, and the good feeling, you have plenty of motivation to do good and to help people.  In these hard times, there is no lack of people in distress and in need.  Just lending an ear can help tremendously.  Consider the good today.

Religious Freedom

There is a movement out there in the US that is trying to establish Christianity as the only religion of the Federal Government.  They cite publications of the founding fathers that indicate that they were Christian.  They therefore say that the principles the US is based on should be openly acknowledged as Christian and from the Bible.  I disagree.  The world of the founding fathers were replete with various of flavors of infighting Christianity, the principles that the US is founded on are not solely Christian, and the US uphold more principles than its founding.

The world of the founding fathers had various religions.  Any religion of significance at that time was Christian.  The pilgrims fled religious persecution from the Anglicans of England, which was and still is the state religion of England.  Many what we consider Christian factions were regarded then as different religions.  They did not agree in many ideas.  In such an environment was the letter drafted by Thomas Jefferson in 1802 that established the concept of the separation of church and state.  Today we have man more religions in the US.  We have Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Wicca, Paganism, and Atheism to name a few non-christian based religions.  We also have more christian based religions to include Mormonism, Rastafarianism, Jehova Witnessism, and Fundamentalism.  So in the continual growth of the US we have broadened the definition of religion to include all faiths.  As such the separation between state and all religions should be upheld.  Now you may say that the state is not to infringe on religion, but religion is to infringe on state.  I also disagree.  The separation between church and state must be both ways in order for it to be practical.  Only the religious influence on the elected officials are the only way religion is allowed to influence the state.  Thus the principle of "For the People and by the People" is upheld.

The principles that the US are founded on are found in the Bible, but not only in the Bible.  Among the basic principles are life, liberty and happiness.  All the major religions embrace life, if they didn't they wouldn't be major religions.  Who would follow such a religion?  Liberty is a basic human need and throughout history people have sought it.  Its often that freedom is the main drive to start a religion.  Judaism started with Moses taking the Jewish people away from slavery.  Happiness is also a basic human need.  Part of happiness is the need to prosper.  I can't think of any major religion that counters the need to prosper.  For the US to make a statement of some kind that they principles the US is founded on purely Christian religion would be fraudulent.  These principles are not exclusively Christian.  They are innate human principles.  You may say that they are Christian principles in the Bible.  While this may be true it doesn't make it appropriate for the US to make or assert religious based principles.  The US must keep the separation of church and state.

The US has founding principles but has many other principles that were adopted over time in the pursuit of freedom.  Woman's rights, making slavery illegal, racial integration, are examples of these principles not found in the Bible.  For the US to uphold only its founding principles would be denying the history and the precedence of our ancestors.  If the US were to make a statement of some kind that says that it's founding principles are only Christian, then it would be denying the principles it has taken on over time by implication.  You may disagree, but the US is more than just it's founding.

I have argued that founding fathers had a different religious landscape than today, that the founding principles of the US are not solely Christian, and that the founding principles are not the only principles that make up the US. The idea that the US needs to make a statement of any kind indicating favor to one religion over the rest is unnecessary and could spur infighting among the religions.  This is not good for the US in any way.  I thoroughly disagree with the idea that the US is based solely on Christian principles and needs to state so.  The principles of the US are constantly in flux as time goes on, this is the democratic way.

Bill It's Me! is out.

I published my next small novel called Bill It's Me! on Scribd.com.  It's a pure fictitious story about and Empath that helps his cop buddy solve a mystery, and thereby the world. 

Yeah I kind of though of the Empath as a type of super hero.  He has abilities but he also has weaknesses.  He also has an arch enemy and people to care about.  No, he doesn't do superhero things like flying or getting into fist fights with people.

This story took me about a year to write.  My last one took me about 5 years to write.  Of course with the first one I had doubts about my ability to write and not only that who would read it.  That's before I hear about Scribd.com on NPR.  Then I knew I could have an audience.  It's pretty gratifying knowing someone reads and enjoys your work.

With this new story I tried something different.  I changed the narration person about half way through.  I think it makes sense and works.  Now also I just started another story, a prequel to Bill It's Me!  There I also change the narration person.  So why am I doing this?  I suppose it's because I like to get the story from the perspective of a character rather than some ominous voice deemed as the writer.  You may say that it speaks to my insecurity, and you may be right.  I am insecure about people paying attention to what I have to say.  Even worse is when people actually take my advice.  Then I feel insecure about my advice and question if it's accurate enough.

Well, there you have it.  The launch of a new story.  It's free, of course.  I'm really a nobody so charging would be superfluous.  I'm more interested in people enjoying my stories rather than making money off of them, at least at this time. Cheers.

Occupy Wallstreet: A Consideration

Occupy Wall Street (OWS) has spread throughout the United States and is gaining attention of the population as seen in the #OWS twitter tag tweet and retweets increase.  They are protesting corporate and banking greed.  Many of them have lost jobs and homes.  They feel they also lost their dignity.  The Government bailout for banks and the subsequent lack of investment into business (small and large) by banks gives the sense that the workers are taxed without being represented.  Yes, it feels like taxation without representation as outlined in the Declaration Of Independence of the United States from England.  As an empath I feel their emotion, there's no escaping it.  I am outlining good things I see about the OWS and bad things I see about the situation.

First, the good things.  OWS is a great example of outraged people embracing democracy.  Protests are key to a democratic society.  Without the voice of the people, tyranny is liable to dominate.  I applaud the OWS for this.  From reports I hear, the OWS  is organized.  They have set up general assemblies, legal teams, and other teams.  This is very encouraging to hear. Socially OWS is a good effort to curb corporate greed.  It's the first of its kind that I have heard.

Now for the bad things.  What does the OWS really expect to accomplish?  It is baffling to me in that why would corporate greedy managers care about what protesters say?  They don't run for election.  So, I really don't think they are going to come out and throw money at the crowd.  Perhaps they expect some legal action.  Greed is not outlawed.  It may be a moral sin but not one that is punishable by the courts.  Perhaps they want some legislative action?  While this may be a viable request, Congress is in no shape to pass much these days.  If they did pass some legislation that regulated banks and corporations, it would be a leftist solution.  My understanding is that the OWS is coprised of both conservatives and liberals.  I don't see any solution where everyone in the OWS will walk away happy.  The other bad thing has to do with the "Nature Of The Beast", as I like to call it.  The effects of the recession is bouncing around the economy.  While they claim that the recession stopped in 2009, it was only the bleeding of the overall money in the economy.  The effects kept going.  First the blue collar workers lost their jobs, then the white collar workers, home owners lost their housed in foreclosures.  Then small businesses started to fold, mid sized businesses folded or were squeezed, and big businesses started to cut expenses even after firing workers.  Municipal governments had to cut back spending, State governments did the same, and the Federal government is cutting spending now.  That means more people loose their jobs.  The effects have reached the big business and corporations management, that means soon it will reach the investors and share holders.  Wall Street is ready to take a hit.  This is all is in-spite of the efforts of OWS.  I'm afraid that OWS is too late or too early.  However, it could pressure share holders to consider what to do with their money.  They should invest in new businesses and new business strategies.  The old business playbook has to be tossed because the market has changed irrecoverably.  Until all are on board with the new market, the pain will continue.  This is perhaps the greatest problem with the recession.  Counterintuitive to my argument, this is where OWS' purpose may lie.  That is the final push to get banks and investors and corporate boards to understand that there is not going back to the old market and that this new market is here to stay, so they need to adjust.

Well, that was fun.  Looking at the good things and the bad things that go along with OWS, I can conclude that indeed OWS has a real social goal they could/should follow.  One thing to add.  I don't know the chants of OWS but I have a suggestion.  Try telling Corporate America, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE RUNNING AROUND LEAVING SCARES.....".  Yes, that is the words to Christina Perri's Jar Of Hearts.  It's a heart break song that seemingly depicts the outrage of OWS.  I think it's quite fitting.

Cheers.

Sensitives and Energies Continued...

In my previous post titled Sensitives and Energies, I depicted a technique to get rid of energies suddenly put upon the sensitive person so that the negative or unwanted result is not realized.  Since then I've been using it more extensively as a great way to deal with life's little surprises.  I found that it is an adaptable technique to various personal situations.

My loved one talked to me while stressed out over family drama.  You know the kind of talk, where hear about how so and so is not doing right and how they are referred to with colorful modifiers.  The talk that may last about an hour and you can't seem to get a word in edgewise.  The kind of talk and energy that fills you up to capacity that you feel like you have to explode.  I struggled with this until I tried to bleed off the energy by pushing it out with intent.  It worked.  I felt better, even calmer.  To my surprise I even pushed the energy out while she was talking to me.  It worked well.  At the end of the conversation I felt better and I could give a good empathic response and a hug.  This is great.  I feel like I'm starting to do what was described in Star Trek The Original Series episode called The Empath.  Unlike Diana Troy in The Next Generation, this empath would absorb energy, even wounds, and then heal herself.  In a similar manner I'm finding a way to heal myself while I naturally absorb energy of others.  I think it's pretty cool.

Another situation is where I had to deal with a difficult person at work.  I naturally absorbed her energy.  After the incident, I still had the energy absorbed and it was causing me to be absent minded, almost stumbling.  I then pushed out the energy and I felt great.  For the rest of the work shift I was in a very good mood.  It seems that pushing out energies brings a renewal and even relief, like a burden is lifted.

This pushing out of energies is one more tool to put in your empath tool-belt.  Others include shielding, letting energy/emotion pass through you, and grounding or centering.  Perhaps there are more but I don't know them.  This particular technique allows you to maintain yourself after or during an incident.  Shielding and letting energy pass through you are best implemented before an incident happens.  Grounding should be done every day with some meditation.  These tools can help make life less painful, more empowering, and enjoyable.  To me joy in the heart is a good indicator that things are alright.

I hope sharing these situations where I applied pushing out energies encourages you to try them yourself and explore the wonder and vastness that is you.  Learning yourself is the first step to changing the world.