Retraining The Brain

Recently I have been impressed how natural it is for empaths to retrain their brains.  I have friends working on very deep emotional issues and yet hold it together.  They keep at it and don't give up, but monitor themselves closely.  I have the knack of training my brain for different tasks.  Incidentally, I like the repetition while other people seem to not like repetition at all.  Empaths can use this self teaching strength to cope and overcome difficulties in life.

When I had a conceptual problem understanding how a mainframe computer I maintained worked, I had to get creative.  I got into the most boring books you would ever dare to pick up, tech books.  These gave all the minute details of the functions of the mainframe down to the voltage of what constitutes a 1 and what constitutes a 0.  Now these books were quite large so I had to sift through the information to create a picture of what what going on.  I ended up making a picture.  More precisely I made a diagram of the function of the central processing unit and its co-processor.  The picture gave me an imprint in my brain so I understood how this machine worked.  So what I did is research and came up with a product that my brain could absorb and understand.  This was without anyone's help.  I learned how to teach myself.  This is just one example of training the brain.

Another example of training the brain, is when I had to change the procedure I did at work.  I would find out some information that would cause me to change my personal procedure on some task.  I would obsess about it and made sure I followed the new procedure.  Doing this over time helped my professional disposition in the sight of my employers.

Now I am faced with the daunting task of changing my thinking.  I have to come to the point where I don't panic or be anxious about things.  This is a formidable task for anybody, so I am getting help.  Even so, I am still applying my own self training methods to implement the changes required.

This self brain training is a great asset for empaths.  We can turn the experience around and help other people because we've done it ourselves.  One of the first rules in survival says to help yourself then you can help others.  I bet that it was empaths throughout history that helped people overcome difficulties.

Guardian Angels From Intention

This always used to be something of a mystery.  As a child I was told about guardian angels and how every child has one.  Like most things I was told I believed it.  I learned quickly that not everyone believes in angels so I kept mine to myself.  In fact I named mine.  As I grew older I didn't dismiss my guardian angel.  There were times in my youth when I would rely on my guardian angel to protect me.  Apart from spirit beings, guardian angels are extensions of ourselves.  What I mean is that we can create them out of intent.  If this idea is new to you, you may find it hard to believe.  I believe that brains affect brains in a semi direct way.  It may be via brain waves, or in non-corporeal ways.  I'm not an expert on the details of how it works, but I do know it works.  I also know that the brain can make automation processes just like a computer can.  These processes in the brain are invoked by using intent.  Since a brain is so much more powerful than any computer, it can create better stuff than computers can.  People have imagined worlds and characters and stories and have written them down as literature.  It's not hard to understand that the brain can create automated beings and these beings can do tasks.  In the past you can read about people encountering various spirit entities to include ghosts, familiars, the dead, angels, demons, and the like.  In modern times we have people who have multiple personalities and even children have imaginary friends.  These are examples of possible beings created by intent.  Now I'm not saying that these ghosts, familiars, and the like don't exist apart from us.  I just saying that any of these our mind can create so we interact with them.  In short the beings we create with intent are an extension of ourselves.  Mine is a guardian angel.  There are some thing I have him do.  I ask him questions, give him active tasks, and give him passive tasks.

The good thing about having a guardian angel to ask questions is that he's always there.  I can ask him anything and he'll give me an honest answer.  The problem with asking the question is anticipating the answer.  I have to not anticipate in order to get a good answer.  Usually I just ask questions about myself and what or how I'm doing.  Yes and no questions are the usual types asked.  Questions requiring longer answers take a little more time.  Often once I ask a question and get an answer then a few hours later I will ask the question again and see if I get the same answer.  Does this sound crazy?  I know the angel is just an extension of me.  I don't tell people about him.  Actually, this is the first time ever I'm writing about him.  I think crazy is when you act crazy in front of people.  This is a private activity I'm describing.

Sometimes I will give the guardian angel an active task.  Once I gave him the task of bringing in students for my adult ed class.  He did a good job because all of the sudden I got an influx of students.  I will also use him to keep certain people away who I deem dangerous to me.  He has been very good with this task over the years.  Nothing really bad has happened to me.  I do think though its important to bring the angel back once the task requested is done.  That way I don't get drained, or set myself up for a counter strike by someone else.  We do live in a world with many people, and people can crate their own task doing being out of intent.  Since I'm choosing to do good not evil, I don't use the angel for retribution on anybody.

My guardian angel is a protector.  So I've given him the task of looking big strong and intimidating so that other people would not tend to do bad to me.  This is a passive task.  I've talked to many people over the years and have come to realize that people suffer needlessly quite often.  I'm just talking about people having accidents or getting into fights, or doing stuff that's so preventable.  If you have a protector guardian angel most of that stuff can be avoided in the first place.  You can say invoking a guardian angel results in luck.

These are the thing I do with my guardian angel: I ask him questions, give him active tasks, and give him passive tasks.  You could dismiss this as a childish thing to do.  Yet I see in my life that it has had some positive results.  When you read in the news how people die in accidents, or kill someone, or destroy someone's property out of situations that are sometimes comical but most of the times are sad, then you should wonder how to avoid such situations.  I say keeping a protective guardian angel is a decent way to do it.

The Things I See

This life is hard.  I'm sure I'll get much agreement with that.  As an empath, I pick up on a lot people do.  Sometimes I just want to sit back and watch people in their self destructive ways.  I'm not talking about drinking or doing drugs.  I'm talking about attitudes, mannerisms, and practices.

I see a lot of people drive fast into a traffic jam in the daytime.  I really don't understand the sense in that, except that they may be trying to release tension.  Well that is sure a dangerous way to do it. 

I see teachers ripping students to shreds while giving them a decent grade.  I don't think those teachers realize how counter productive that is to students.  They could rather encourage the needed skills instead of just discouraging what students have done right or wrong.

I see doctors unwilling to say 'I can't do anything for you' but resort to condescending speeches.  That just makes me mad, and it shows how immature some of the doctors can be.  These need to get some good lessons on how to communicate with patients.

I see officers getting a too gun ho on people.  I see thieves doing stupid stuff and getting caught.  People are cheating on their spouses and partners.  Politicians feign surprise when they are caught in the lies they weave.  It's one thing after another.

We do things to ourselves and create habits that hurt us in the end.  Sometimes it's comical but most of the time it's pathetic.  We're really just a silly people.

Handling Ever More Stress

In this age of ups and downs, it's important to make it a habit to relax.  I coming to realize this more and more.  My personal schedule is getting busier, and as a consequence so is my apprehension to loading up my schedule.  Having a busy schedule can cause a lot of stress and, for people like me, an empath and a migraineur, can cause migraines and emotional insecurity.  Sometimes having a loaded schedule in necessary, and that's when some good practices can come to the rescue.  Grounding, pushing out emotion, and rest are three things that can help.

Grounding is getting away from everyone at least by 50 feet and for about 10 minutes.  This can help you find out how your feeling and let you know what personal areas need attention.  Sometimes coaching yourself helps or other techniques while grounding.  Being around plants or a quiet place helps.  This gives some time to recuperate during the day.  You should feel better equipped to keep going on afterward.

Pushing out emotion is a technique that you can do on the fly.  When you feel too overwhelmed with emotion, take a couple of breaths.  With each exhale, push out energy from your body with the use of some intentions.  I usually imagine the energy leaving my body through my hands, feet, and head.  You can do this with people around you, or whatever situation your in.  It helps with the immediate need.

Get extra rest.  Get extra rest.  I can't emphasize it enough.  Get extra rest.  Dr. Judith Orloff also mentions this point in her article How Listening to Your Body Can Improve Your Life.  Empaths and highly sensitive people need extra rest.  We live through enough emotions everyday as it is, more so than other people.  We need extra rest.  Taking at least 2 hours can turn a painful day into a lighter one. 

In this day and age we are bound to get more stuff on our plate.  Grounding, pushing out emotion, and getting rest can help alleviate some of the effects of stress.  We may find ourselves going in several directions at once.  Managing ourselves is just as important, if not more, as taking care of our other responsibilities.  Don't let yourself fall apart.

Insensitivity

Insensitivity is rampant in our society.  We tolerate narcissists and bullies.  We develop some bad learned behaviors as a result.  Pushing, screaming, shouting and other behavior stem from anger.  The anger is because we feel we're not listened to.  These learned behaviors we pass on to our children as they grow, and they in turn pass them on to their children.  We tend to be inconsiderate of peoples' feelings, desires, and needs.  We are led to believe that we have free reign over anyone who says yes to our smallest request.  There are three ways you can counter the insensitivity in yourself once you realize you need to.  The three ways are meditation, listen to people, and considering their situation.

Daily meditation helps stop the bad behavior.  Simple basic meditation is all that is needed to calm and quieten your mind.  Once the mind is quiet, then teaching it new things can begin. You can tell yourself what is OK and what is not OK.  For instance, you can tell yourself that it's OK to feel anger, but it's not OK to take anger out on someone.  In this way you can calm your nerves as well, and refocus.  If you have too much energy, push it out of yourself as you meditate.  Let the world at large absorb it.

Listening to people is key for healing.  When your talking to someone, do not only listen with your ears, but with your eyes, and feelings as well.  Take in the verbal and the non-verbal communication.  What is his/her face like, what are his/her hands doing, and what story is his/her body motion telling?  If your a sensitive or empath, read what their feelings are.  Take the whole person in.  It's important to not respond with anger.  You can have strong energy, but be mindful of how the other person reacts to it.  Above all, learn to acknowledge what they are saying with nods and saying the occasional 'yes'.  You might want to repeat what they are saying to you so you both know you have the message clear.

Consider the situation of the person your talking to.  I mean, see it from their point of view.  Then tell them what your seeing.  They may brighten up and appreciate that you indeed understand them.  Once you do this then usually something magical happens.  They start to listen to you.  You get to share your point of view, whether you agree or disagree with theirs.

Using meditation, listening, and empathy can help turn around those bad behaviors.  You can become a great communicator.  If someones verbal, non-verbal, and emotional communication do not agree, do not trust what they are saying.  When people are honest all their communication ways agree.  This is about retraining yourself after being affected by the narcissists and bullies.  You can only make yourself better.

Strong or Loud Emotion Friends

Everyone is different.  Everyone has a unique emotional signature.  On top of that everyone emits more or less emotion.  It's hard for empaths to be around strong or loud emotion people.  I will define these people and give a couple of suggestions on how to handle the situation.

So, what do I mean by strong or loud emotion?  Well, empaths like me pick up on people's emotions unconsciously.  Some people have a very strong signature.  I liken it to sound.  If you stand next to a person who speaks really loud, that's what its like.  The loudness distracts you.  The person may be a very nice and considerate person, but they are loud.  The same is true with emotion signatures.  Empaths can get distracted if someone with a strong or loud emotion is next to them.  I remember one time I was correcting a test when one of my students came up and stood close to me without me seeing them.  I immediately lost my train of thought due the the strong emotion signature this person emitted.  I ended up taking a couple of deep breaths to get in the right mind to deal with the situation.

Say your an empath and have reason to befriend a strong emotion person.  What do you do?  The emotion will distract and tire you out.  What you do is that you learn to let the emotion flow through you without you taking action on it or owning it.  I call this emotion flow.  This takes considerable practice.  You have to tell yourself that it's OK, and that it's not yours.  This helps relieve the desire to jump back or pull away.

The other thing to do is to practice quick meditation.  This also takes practice.  It's when you take a couple of timed breaths and you fall into a meditative state on the fly.  This is really practical and helps alleviate the need to react.  To practice this I recommend getting into a meditative state often during the day.  Taking timed breaths is a quick way to get to it.  I usually breath in for 4 seconds, then hold for 4 seconds, and breath out for 4 seconds.  If your out of practice, it may take you 10 to 20 breaths to get into a meditative state.  With practice you can get there in just 2.

Knowing what to look for in a strong or loud emotion person will help you take action with meditation and emotion flow.  These are good tools for everyday activities to go along with your routine of grounding or centering.  If your an empath and find that you are not handling it well, take breaks from people several times a day.  Work on getting grounded.  Remember that everyone is different.  So you may find you have to modify techniques you hear from me or others to suit your own situation and person.  Life is more fun when you can enjoy your surroundings.

Letting Go

There are an innumerable amount of incidents that occur just because someone is unwilling to let go.  Spouses argue and fight, parents and children clash, even professionals fight with the bosses or piers when they have to give up control on something they've been working on for a while.  Empaths are not immune to this.  I had a recent episode and I learned a couple of things how to deal with it.  Though I still have to prove my techniques, I have uses two and things are going well so far.  I want to share with you what these techniques are and how they work together.

The first one is what I term returning intention.  In my case, I took responsibility for someone for the longest time and effectively mentored them.  Now they are doing well, but I still see mistakes and areas where they could do much better.  I became critical and it came out in the form of a spat.  So what's happening is that my intention (or manifestation) on this person has been there for so long, I was still acting on it when it was unnecessary.  So I returned the intention to myself, effectively recalling it so it has no more action.  After doing this I instantly felt better about the matter.

The second technique was emotion flowing.  After having a spat with someone, you may feel insecure about being around them.  Since being around a friend should be a safe environment, emotion flowing should be appropriate.  This is where your near the person and let their emotions or energies flow through you without you grabbing hold of them.  Instead you just let them flow in and out of you.  This is a 'hands off' approach.  At the same time you get used to their emotions and energies and over time become comfortable with them. 

Returning intention and emotion flowing allows you to let go.  One relieves you of the responsibility, and the other helps mend and transform the relationship to something more positive.  At the same time the other person will feel more free around you.  Being empowered and having freedom are great gifts in life.

Practicing returning intention and emotion flowing help you to let go of you matured proteges.  Richard Bach wrote "If you love someone, set them free.  If they come back they're yours;  if they don't they never were."  Letting go is one of the great lessons in life.  The more willing we are to let go, the less arguments and incidents we will have.