Instilled Behavior

For the longest time, about 40 years, I behaved in a certain way that promoted the slavery of myself.  The behavior was such that a narcissist could easily recognize and enlist me into their servitude.  I believe natural empaths are susceptible to being molded into involuntary personal servitude.

My past is full of narcissists who wanted to control me.  I had a boss that who found he could depend on me.  I ended up saying yes a lot to his manipulation of the work schedule.  Later I came to find out that he lost his job on some pretty serious charges.  I had a supervisor that wanted to stay in contact as a friend, but I did not feel the same way.  I refused and he was pretty upset which came out as anger.  I had a co-worker who wanted to know where I 'fit in' in the social structure of the workplace.  He had a group of workers who were 'his buddies'.  They would look after each other and despise the rest.  By then I recognized this as a control structure.  So I declined being part of his group.  Actually, looking back on it, that was pretty good for a narcissist to be upfront like that.

This behavior stifled my ambitions.  Though I had the ambition of being management, I could not realize it.  Things would go wrong immediately once I was put in 'charge' of something at work or otherwise.  So I thought of myself as a good supporter of a manager instead.  Now, I'm starting to change in my mind.  In the last 3 years I've taken hold of my empathic nature and shored it up with techniques.  I suppose my mind is becoming free.

Where did this behavior all start for me?  I remember feeling the oppression from men when I was a child in early '70s.  In the absence of their wives, they would enjoy themselves too much.  They would drink, smoke and be in really nice lounges.  I know now that that was the business world back then.  Back then wife beating was not thought of as a crime.  Wives were treated as servants rather than partners.  I abhorred that behavior and chose the servitude behavior instead of the oppressor.  I suppose that makes sense since I was just a child and did not see any different example.

Well, I hope that you, the empath reader, have not suffered the virtual bondage I have at the hands of narcissists.  Dealing with them is important, but more important is knowing yourself.  It's about strategy and how to navigate in this insensitive social and business world.  For non-empaths, I hope you can come to understand how behavior affects empaths and that their helpful nature is not an invitation to control them.