What Is Bullying?

The recent Taft School shooting in California highlights that victims of bullying not only suicide but can kill others as well.  Bullying is a term that's thrown around a lot these days.  Everyone knows what it is, or do we?  We have all been called names, criticized, mocked, laughed at, and so on.  So we think we know what it is.  Most of us have gone through it as children, some go through it all their lives.  There are peoples who have a history of being victims of bullying.  There has been institutionalized bullying.  There are some laws against bullying for some groups of people.  This may sound surprising, but in essence bullying is a message.  That message says, "You are not important."  Let me explain in the following paragraphs.

In childhood, bullying is prevalent.  It usually goes something like this.  One person has a desire to become important among his friends and succeeds.  Someone challenges that person, and consequently they fear not being important.  So, they call the challenger names and ostracize him from the group.  then they proceed to ostracize anyone who looks or acts like the challenger.  They never stop ostracizing.  The ostracized person will develop deep anger and resentment.  At a later time they may act on that anger.  That's a generalized understanding of bullying.

Bullying is not restricted to children.  Adults bully other adults and children.  Employers bully employees.  Those with authority bully those under their charge.  Parents bully children.  Bullying is prevalent throughout society.  It is unfortunately also tolerated.

Institutionalized bullying is bullying in the extreme.  Slavery allows for all kinds of abuse from theft, to torture, to rape, to murder.  The Third Reich ostracized the Jews in the mid 1930's and 1940's.  They ostracized them to the point of genocide.  The Jim Crow laws led to legal ostracization as they promoted segregation.  In these examples people lost their property, dignity, and their lives.  The victims were considered no good for society.

There has been legal consequences to bullying.  One example is when the United States declared its independence from Great Britain.  The Declaration of Independence lists a number of bullying acts committed by Britain on the people of the U.S.  The Civil Rights Act of 1964 abolished the Jim Crow laws in the U.S.  This was the beginning of freedom for the African Americans.  Racism is still a problem, but it is diminishing over time.  We also have American Disabilities Act that established civil right to the physically impaired.  They were ostracized in the workplace and in movement since many buildings didn't accommodate for wheelchairs.  There are other laws as well.  These came about because people were being bullied for being different.  There are now laws against cyberbullying since 2007 in some areas in the U.S.  So far as I know, its the first type of anti-bullying law that applies to everybody.

 What is to be done?  I think stopping bullying starts with yourself.  You must recognize that you are important, regardless of what others say.  You are important to your friends and family.  You are important to people you say 'hi' to every day.  You are important to the shopkeeper when you buy something.  You are important to society at large.  Without you, society is lessened.  Next you need to recognize that other people are important to you.  Those you love and those you don't know are important to you.  Society is important to you.  Your children are important to you.  Next you need to talk to people like they are important to you.  Use respectful words, listen to others, refrain from judging or criticizing, and learn to disagree in an agreeable way.  Guess what?  Its hard.  Its hard to change.  Its also brave.  You will be a better person when you do.  You will get respect once you give it.  There will always be critics.  Count on it.  Teach your children to do the same.  Tell your children how important they are to you.  Victims of bullies and bullies themselves need psychological help.

Bullying is a hideous aspect of humanity.  It does not build character.  It tears down and breaks people.  It was the cause of some of the most hateful times in history.  Violence cause violence.  Bullying is violent even when its just verbal.  Its personal, and its very personal.  Its little wonder that Jesus said to love your enemies (Matthew 5:43).  Bullying was a problem back in the first century too.  I'm a highly sensitive person, why am I concerned with this?  I am concerned with all humanity.  The better everyone feels the better it is for me.  Is that selfish? Yes it is, and I don't apologize for it.  Guess what?  Unless you look after yourself, you cannot look after others.  Looking after others is in effect looking after yourself.