Understanding Emotion

How should we, as a society, understand emotion?  Why am I asking this question?  We take emotion for granted without really studying it.  We have moments of fear, happiness, sadness, joy, jealousy, elation, and many more emotions.  But what is emotion?  In the 1960's science fiction played with the entity that had no emotion, they also played with entities that could feel other people's emotion.  Emotion has been on people's brains for a long time.  There are a great many theories of emotion in the medical and psychological fields.  Just check out the wiki on emotion.  Seeing that it is a subject that is studied and used in so many fields would lead you to believe that emotion is innate to humans, and you would be right, but lacking.  Why would you be lacking?  As an empath, I see that animals and plants also have emotion, and that emotion lingers in places where people use to be.  In my experiences, I came to the conclusion that emotion is a language of its own.  It is a language of this universe.  I want to discuss my experiences with emotion in the areas of space-time, telepathy, and sharing emotion with other entities to show how I understand emotion as a highly sensitive person.  Here is a warning, this has nothing to do with science as our society understands it today.

Emotion is energy.  Energy exists in space-time. Like lingering footprints in the forest, emotion lingers in places.  When you enter in a room, do you feel the atmosphere?  I feel the atmosphere of an office, and its different than that of a movie-theater, which in turn is different than that of a stage theater. Depending on what goes on in a room will dictate the emotion.  These are rooms that have the same thing go on in them day after day and night after night.  Once I did an experiment.  I stood outside a building and closed my eyes and got into a meditative state.  I then focused on the building and counted people I sensed in a large room.  I then went inside and check for the results and I was right.  I was able to count the people currently in the room with my eyes closed.  The experience was interesting because in sensing the people they were like blobs or mounds of emotion.  When I counted I counted each mound.  The rest of the room had emotion as well but of a lesser degree so the people stood out.  Another time I wondered how we can pick up on emotion that is on a different time.  If you remember some fond memory, you feel what you felt back then.  Sometimes you can smell what you smelt back then.  If you read about a historical figure and then focus on that person and an incident, you start to get some feelings.  I believe we can pick up the emotion of those in the past even if we did not experience them ourselves.  Two specific incidents that easily conjure up emotion are the sinking of the Titanic and the first flight at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.  Anyone can immediately pinpoint the time, the place, and even the emotion with those events.  Excitement and awe at Kitty Hawk.  Sadness, anger, duty at the Titanic.  Both have a sense of trepidation.  It's just like being there.  This is what I mean when I say emotion exists in space-time.  Many say, 'I wish I could go back to that time and place and witness.'  For sensitives, the brain is a time machine.  In this way, I concur with the movie Somewhere in Time, which is a story of a man finding love in a timeslip.  I don't think interaction is possible this way but observing the past is by experiencing the emotion of the past.

Telepahy, is defined as communication between minds by some means other than sensory perception.  We  have some fanciful ways of thinking what telepathy is in practice thanks to television shows and movies.  The way I have experienced telepathy is by communicating with plants, animals, and suggestive messages.  At this point I understand if you think I'm out of my mind and that such things are not possible.  Not everyone acknowledges these things.  In this area is where I realized that emotion is truly a language.  I had had communication with trees, that is putting my back against them and just listen to their emotion.  I did find out that sick trees feel sour, and bigger trees in are stronger than their surrounding smaller trees.  The other thing that I found out is that time for trees is much much longer than for people.  I shan't go into details of my communications with trees at the risk of sounding even more bizarre than I do.  One night I was walking when I got a sensational chill down my spine.  I stopped and wondered what it was.  I looked around and there was a cat staring at me.  It occurred to me that the chill came from the cat.  I sent a telepathic message saying hi.  I got another chill in response.  I couldn't make out the message of the cat.  I suppose it uses a different style of language than I do.  My telepathy is English riding on emotion.  To linguist that may not sound right, but to people who have studied radio waves and frequencies that makes sense.  You see you can have a radio program in different human languages, but the language that the radio understands is the that of radio waves.  The radio on the other hand doesn't interpret video signal on the radio waves.  I suppose its the same difference between humans and cats as it is between audio signals and video signals.  Now with humans, telepathy is interesting.  I have not sat down in one room and tried to telepathically communicate with another person in another room.  Instead, I have sent suggestive messages via telepathy. The messages I send out are real short and to people that I can see.  For example in grocery stores, I typically would tell someone I'm coming up to that I'm going a certain route and if they could get out of the way.  They usually do.  I've noticed that normal people can get the messages, if they are open to them.  The ones that don't get the message are usually non-sensitives, that is those who are not sensitive at all.  It is rather fun sending out a quick message and seeing that a person gets it and responds accordingly.

Another way I understanding emotion is by sharing it.  For instance, I already mentioned that I put my back against a tree and feel its emotion.  In that instance I'm sharing the emotion of the tree.  The effect is that it helps me calm down.  Even when I detach from the tree I still feel the lingering emotion in me.  I also share in the emotion of other people.  If a person is excited then I get excited.  If they get angry, I get angry.  Most of this is involuntary as it is for most highly sensitive people.  I share the emotion of a room of people whether it's a concert, theater, or a meeting.  In crowds I get exited because of all the emotion floating around.  When I feel safe around people I will let their emotion flow through me, but when I feel threatened I will put up a shield.  This sharing emotions is innate in highly sensitive people.

So I shared how I experience emotion in the areas of space-time, telepathy, and sharing emotion.  Everyone is different.  Your experiences are probably different than mine.  I just wish the rest of the world would learn to understand how emotion works so we would stop stepping on each-others' toes.

Inner Self vs Outward Self

The human is a funny individual.  That's funny as in weird.  He/she tends to think of self as two entities, the inner self and the outer self.  This is a big dichotomy in the human experience.  Now you probably already know that, but  it is interesting to note how personal communications get botched for lack of a similar frame of reference.  Where it comes to sensitivity, people's different perception can cause confusion.  People with different levels of sensitivity will levy different importance of the two selves.  For the highly sensitive person (HSP, empath, or sensitive), there is less importance on the outer self since they see people and themselves as a whole, while the non-sensitive will put high importance on the outer self.  This difference in perception can lead to some conflicts and/or misunderstandings.  Let's say a sensitive enters a room and reads the people there.  A non-sensitive is dressed smartly, prim and proper.  Yet the sensitive picks up that the non-sensitive is upset about something and is trying to hide it.  Concerned, the sensitive inquires the other person as to what is bothering them.  The non-sensitive denies that there is anything wrong.  The sensitive bothered by this response tries other attempts at getting the non-sensitive to talk it out.  The non-sensitive who has been trying to keep their cool to not show their hand yells at the sensitive and vehemently asserts that nothing in the world is wrong.  Perhaps some kind of local artifact is bonked on the head of the sensitive for their insolence.  Of course we can see that the non-sensitive contradicts themselves by their actions despite their best efforts.  The way you, as an HSP, can avoid such botches is by acknowledging the situation to yourself, gauging your responses to the non-sensitive so not to blow their cover, and waiting for the non-sensitive to bring up the problem when they feel safe.

Now how do you acknowledge a situation?  The HSP often picks up on situations and gets lots of input on any situation.  The problem arises when you try to sort through the information.  What should your angle be?  In most cases it really won't affect you personally.  Or, it may just affect you indirectly.  A mature adult HSP would try to think of how it affects the other individuals.  So you should think of how your angle would affect the non-sensitive.  Bear in mind that non-sensitives mostly care about themselves.  So, appealing to their ego is a good safe strategy.  You may think that this is wrong.  How could you appeal to the ego of so selfish individuals?  Well, any successful communication has to start with a common frame of reference.  Thus starting off appealing to a non-sensitive's ego can be a useful tool to get them to talk and open up.  Acknowledging the situation is to consider the parties involved and come up with an appropriate strategy.  I mentioned a mature HSP.  What happens with a young HSP?  Well, I will tell you a story from my childhood experience.  While taking a road trip with my parents, we picked up some hitch-hikers.  They were nice people and all, but I thought they could have gotten around better other than hitch-hiking.  So after they got out, I yelled out, "Next time take a taxi."  My father was furious with me about my indiscretion.  I still feel it was the right idea but executed in an immature way.  This is an example of what not to do.

A mature approach to communicating anything wrong you find, as a sensitive with the non-sensitive, would be to gauge your responses so not to blow their cover.  Why do you not want to blow their cover?  By blowing their cover you would be putting them on the defensive, and defensive people are not keen on listening to anyone.  You want to avoid defensiveness.  So in our example, the sensitive could try to approach the non-sensitive in an indirect way.  The sensitive could as a non-committal question like, "Is there something that is bothering you?"  The non-sensitive will either open up or not, but they will feel like they have the option an thus stay in control.   The key here is not to corner the non-sensitive, but give them freedom of choice. 

Waiting for the non-sensitive to feel safe enough to share is important.  They may choose not to open up right away.  If they don't you, as the HSP, have the option to wait or to keep the issue open by saying, "If you need to talk about anything, I'm here."  Though this may not be exactly what you wanted, the benefit would be that the offer is communicated to the non-sensitive, and the relationship is helped. Plus you can avoid the bonk on the head.

Relationships are hard as it is without botches occurring.  Taking care to acknowledge the situation to yourself, to gauge your responses to the non-sensitive so not to blow their cover, and to wait for the non-sensitive to bring up the problem when they feel safe.  The point here is for you, the HSP, to keep a relationship going with a non-sensitive.  When you gauge carefully what you share, the non-sensitive won't feel threatened by your presence, otherwise they may act irrationally such as giving bonks on the head.

Self Examination

Do you get angry when people cut you off in traffic?  Do you cut people off in traffic?  Well let's not talk about fingering people or road rage because they can't get off the cell phone waiting at a light that has already turned green or texting on the highway with the elbows on the wheel.  No, this is not about traffic but this is about the very human tendency to apply rules to others and not to ourselves.  The religious word for this is hypocrisy.  The reality is that its a very human thing to do and probably innate to our nature in order to get ahead and survive.  Yet mature empaths and enlightened individuals should treat others as they would want to be treated (the golden rule).  The answer to this is self examination.  The way to do this is: by evaluating your emotional state when it comes to each issue; by recognizing that you are in a state of development; and by training yourself to change.


Say you find that your loved one seems annoying when they ask for something.  In such a situation ask yourself why does this bother you.  What fear do you have.  Is your fear founded in reality?  That is will your loved one behave or think of you in the way you fear?  This is the evaluating part.  These are hard questions.  If you feel that the situation is severe or your having trouble evaluating something perhaps it is time to seek professional help in a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist.  Self evaluating is emotional and can be draining.  You may want to take your time with it.

How do you view yourself? Do you feel altogether and in need of no-one's help?  Do you feel inadequate?  Do you feel out of place?  However you feel about yourself, you should understand that your in a process of development.  That is, your on a journey to better yourself and you may not reach your ultimate destination in this lifetime.  Yet, it's the journey that matters.  Sometimes you get off course or even realize that a change in course is what is needed all along.  The point is that your working on it and learning as you go.  Who could fault you for that?  Understanding that your in a state of development is important to the self examination process.  It allows you to make mistakes and correct them and also to come up with some accomplished goals.  If you stop this learning process then you will not move forward, and you could get depressed.

Deciding on an action to take really depends on the situation.  If it is a case of how you think, then coaching reason into your thinking could be the answer.  If it is an act that you do, then training yourself to do an alternative act could be the answer.  You have to decide the course of action to take.  In any case, training yourself takes time.  It gets easier as time goes on, but you have to stay with it until its second nature.

 

Self examination is a good process to do.  Through evaluating yourself, understanding your state of development, and training yourself are simple steps to understand, but they take some courage and some work to get through them.  I examine myself many times and often.  That is excessive, I know.  You may want to do self examination maybe once or twice a year.  Don't discount what other people say about you, especially if they say the same thing and have no connection to each other.  Often, the help of others in this is important.  This process is a good way to get balance in your life.

Independence

As the United States is celebrating its independence this week, the thought came to mind how do empaths establish their independence from the world.  The following is from a empath friend of mine, Laura Ryder.

How we define ourselves is crucial to establishing the boundaries we need to understand our role in the world. The alternative is to just meld in to the background until there is no distinction between us and the world.  I give you three steps to take to achieve independence: grounding, knowing your abilities and disabilities, and establishing your role in the world.

When it comes to getting to know ourselves, grounding or centering is a place to start.  What grounding does is let us get to know our own feelings rather than other people's feelings.  At certain times in life it's good to get reacquainted with your feelings especially when you are trying to deal with issues your struggling with.  In this way we grow to become our own person, rather than being dictated what to be by the world.  Thus we can start to establish our independence.

Knowing your abilities and disabilities are essential to being independent.  Some people may equate these to strengths and weaknesses.  For the empath it's more specific.  Every empath have disabilities.  That is those things that make us hurt, or act crazy.  Usually these are due to external sources like other people, animals, plants,...etc.  The key is to learn about these weaknesses to understand how to use them in a way that they become abilities.  This is a long term proposition, and every empath is different.  Gathering a repertoire of abilities is important for the empath to be empowered and gain independence.

After knowing ourselves and gaining abilities, empaths need to figure out their role in the local world they live in.  Careful thinking and reading people will come in handy for this task.  Some questions to consider are: How do I help my co-workers; Where do my family need help; How can I assist my community.  Empaths are in unique position to be able to read people more readily than others.  As such we can realize problems and concerns of others.  Though sometimes its enough to vocalize the concerns, a better way is to help alleviate concerns by purposeful acts of kindness.  Doing such may keep you from the spotlight and still effect help.  When empaths are spotlighted, other people tend to put demands on them which is not good.  Remember, you want to keep your independence so you want to avoid the spotlight as much as possible.  Encouraging, coaching, listening are some examples of acts of kindness.  Again, every empath is different and every situation is different.

As an empath, forging your own independence takes courage, diligence, and creativity.  Using grounding, knowing your abilities and disabilities, and establishing your role can set any empath on the road to independence from the world.  I did not mention here what to do when you have relationships your uncomfortable with.  That is another essay.

Retraining The Brain

Recently I have been impressed how natural it is for empaths to retrain their brains.  I have friends working on very deep emotional issues and yet hold it together.  They keep at it and don't give up, but monitor themselves closely.  I have the knack of training my brain for different tasks.  Incidentally, I like the repetition while other people seem to not like repetition at all.  Empaths can use this self teaching strength to cope and overcome difficulties in life.

When I had a conceptual problem understanding how a mainframe computer I maintained worked, I had to get creative.  I got into the most boring books you would ever dare to pick up, tech books.  These gave all the minute details of the functions of the mainframe down to the voltage of what constitutes a 1 and what constitutes a 0.  Now these books were quite large so I had to sift through the information to create a picture of what what going on.  I ended up making a picture.  More precisely I made a diagram of the function of the central processing unit and its co-processor.  The picture gave me an imprint in my brain so I understood how this machine worked.  So what I did is research and came up with a product that my brain could absorb and understand.  This was without anyone's help.  I learned how to teach myself.  This is just one example of training the brain.

Another example of training the brain, is when I had to change the procedure I did at work.  I would find out some information that would cause me to change my personal procedure on some task.  I would obsess about it and made sure I followed the new procedure.  Doing this over time helped my professional disposition in the sight of my employers.

Now I am faced with the daunting task of changing my thinking.  I have to come to the point where I don't panic or be anxious about things.  This is a formidable task for anybody, so I am getting help.  Even so, I am still applying my own self training methods to implement the changes required.

This self brain training is a great asset for empaths.  We can turn the experience around and help other people because we've done it ourselves.  One of the first rules in survival says to help yourself then you can help others.  I bet that it was empaths throughout history that helped people overcome difficulties.