Sunday, October 7, 2012

Music Obsessions

One of the things I get obsessed with is music.  I think it's fairly common to get obsessed about things now and again for highly sensitive people (HSP, empath).  Now with me, I developed this obsession with music.  I know it's common to like music, and many people buy much music in a year's time.  That's not exactly what I'm talking about.  Try listening to a song over and over for weeks.  Soon, you'll get tired of it.  My obsession drives me to listen to it and to play it in my head.  I'm going to share how I started with this obsession, how I understand it works, and share some artists I've obsessed about over the years.

It's 1970.  There is no internet, there is no cell phones, there are no computers, no social media, not even compact discs.  What's sitting in my living room on a table is a box with a bunch of nobs on it and a round thing on the top that turns.  It's a stereo system made up of a turntable, radio, and amplifier.  These pieces were stacked on top of each other.  I am two years old, almost three.  The room is huge to me.  There are soft chairs and a sofa.  The windows are very tall but thin.  The carpet was shag.  There's a sound coming from the stereo, and it's a song.  It said "if you want it, here it is come and get it.  But you better hurry because it's going fast."  I find the album cover of the long play vinyl record and its a picture of a outside patio with a giant hand on some stone podium and the index finger having a nail in it.  All I could think of was ice cream, because ice cream melted.  From then on when I heard the song I thought of ice cream and when I had ice cream I could hear the song in my head.  Yes, I'm Pavlov's dog.  That was the beginning of this obsession.  I got a kick out of it.  By a kick, I mean a natural high.  I went into a state of euphoria.  From then on I was hooked.

I blame my empathic abilities for this.  By concentrating on a work (painting, song, technology) I can tap into the excitement associated with the work.  Sometimes it's the whole artist and sometime it's just a song.  The feeling goes so deep.  Heart and soul get rattled together till they resonate in concert.  It's becoming one with the music and words.  It's feeling every agony and every excitement in pure harmony, until I'm ready to burst.  Then streams of tears come and I'm fully taken.  Sure, it's my drug.  There has been many  times throughout my life where I've drove my friends and loved ones crazy with this obsession.  At one point in my childhood, I was asked not to sing out loud since I could not carry a tune, and didn't have rhythm.  In fact, I found out in recent years that audio information is not my preferred source of information.  My preferred source is tactile or doing and my secondary is visual.  So this obsession seems like a contradiction for me.

Here's a sampling of song and pieces I've obsessed about over the years with youtube links to the songs:





You should have gotten a good overview of this obsession of mine with how it got started, how it works, and what artists I've obsessed about over the years.  I don't consider myself as having obsessive-compulsive disorder.  I have never been diagnosed with that nor has my behavior promoted and comments about that from others.  I think HSP's can develop these obsessions if they pickup on an emotion that they love.  Isn't that a normal human thing to do?  We are attracted to situations, people, or things that make us feel good and we're repulsed by those who/that make us feel bad.  What do you obsess about?

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