The Great Quest

This world will tell you what or who you should be from day one.  For the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and Empath this is a tragedy.  Without knowledge, we HSPs will listen to any idea out there and abide by it just out of sheer loyalty.  Self can get lost.  Some people feel like they need to forgive themselves.  I think they might have gotten their 'self' really lost. It's essential for the HSP to figure out who and what they are so that they can grow and be effective in society.

Its easy to live in someone's reality.  We do it as children.  We get to live in our parents' reality.  We may not get the message that we are to create our own reality.  That is, live in our own world and play our own game.  It may be a frightening thing to start down that road, but start we inevitably must.  Sooner or later we will be without our parents.  We may start our own families, careers, hobbies, and preferences.  I know of people who have the hardest time taking that step.  I recommend to take a deep breath and jump in.  Like jumping in a pool, it may feel awful at first but you soon get your bearings.

I realize it's hard to disconnect from parents, mentors, or even friends.  If you have a great family life, it is harder to disconnect than if you had a bad family life.  If you do come from a great family, being on your own is important to discover yourself and figure out how to better yourself.  Sometimes separation is thrusted upon you like entering the military, moving because of a new job, or even a death.  In such cases, I think it's important not to latch on to anyone else but to become self sufficient and start planning what you want to do.  It's only when your alone can you meditate and figure out your own feelings.


Eventhough you are on your own, your really not alone.  Parents, mentors, friends should be a phone or text message away for advice.  It's good to listen to your guides.  Guides come not only from people in your life, but also from what people say, what papers and blogs write, what books say...etc.  I think the most important guide to listen to is the guidance you get when you meditate.  You can extend your feelers to the world around you and figure out what it coming.  Feelings and premonitions are normal to have.  Too often people ignore these.  It is good to take these into consideration while you observe the physical world.  Of course, one of the most important guide is the plan you laid out for yourself.  That is, the things you want in the future.

Why am I encouraging HSPs to be their own person?  Well, it's because it took a long time for me to realize that that is the better way.  There are groups out there that recruit the unsuspected into their ideology, theology, or 'mission.'  These groups are self absorbed manipulative masters.  No, the HSP is better off on their own and figuring out how to help people in the world around them.  The Quest in this life should be for the betterment of self and community.  Do not waste it on someone else's ideals.  More often than not, if you do follow someone else they usually are sociopaths.  These people have no concern for anyone else but their own goals no matter what it costs others.  That's why I give this warning to all HSPs and Empaths.

Independence

As the United States is celebrating its independence this week, the thought came to mind how do empaths establish their independence from the world.  The following is from a empath friend of mine, Laura Ryder.

How we define ourselves is crucial to establishing the boundaries we need to understand our role in the world. The alternative is to just meld in to the background until there is no distinction between us and the world.  I give you three steps to take to achieve independence: grounding, knowing your abilities and disabilities, and establishing your role in the world.

When it comes to getting to know ourselves, grounding or centering is a place to start.  What grounding does is let us get to know our own feelings rather than other people's feelings.  At certain times in life it's good to get reacquainted with your feelings especially when you are trying to deal with issues your struggling with.  In this way we grow to become our own person, rather than being dictated what to be by the world.  Thus we can start to establish our independence.

Knowing your abilities and disabilities are essential to being independent.  Some people may equate these to strengths and weaknesses.  For the empath it's more specific.  Every empath have disabilities.  That is those things that make us hurt, or act crazy.  Usually these are due to external sources like other people, animals, plants,...etc.  The key is to learn about these weaknesses to understand how to use them in a way that they become abilities.  This is a long term proposition, and every empath is different.  Gathering a repertoire of abilities is important for the empath to be empowered and gain independence.

After knowing ourselves and gaining abilities, empaths need to figure out their role in the local world they live in.  Careful thinking and reading people will come in handy for this task.  Some questions to consider are: How do I help my co-workers; Where do my family need help; How can I assist my community.  Empaths are in unique position to be able to read people more readily than others.  As such we can realize problems and concerns of others.  Though sometimes its enough to vocalize the concerns, a better way is to help alleviate concerns by purposeful acts of kindness.  Doing such may keep you from the spotlight and still effect help.  When empaths are spotlighted, other people tend to put demands on them which is not good.  Remember, you want to keep your independence so you want to avoid the spotlight as much as possible.  Encouraging, coaching, listening are some examples of acts of kindness.  Again, every empath is different and every situation is different.

As an empath, forging your own independence takes courage, diligence, and creativity.  Using grounding, knowing your abilities and disabilities, and establishing your role can set any empath on the road to independence from the world.  I did not mention here what to do when you have relationships your uncomfortable with.  That is another essay.