Scared Girl Goes to the Light

 I did some mediumship practice tonight and just opened up to see who would come through. I sensed a meek and quiet person, a young girl. 

She seemed young and scared. I asked her for her name. After some time, I think I got it right, Denise. I asked her to describe something she said a pink broad brimmed hat with a lace wrap. 

Denise by EC Holm

I asked her where she was. She named the town. It was a nearby town but not the same one I was in. 

I asked if she knew what she died of. She mentioned a disease. 

Then she offered some information. She said she could see her parents but that they wouldn't talk to her. I understood that to mean that her parents were still alive. So I asked her how old she was. She said 5 years old. Then I asked if she had any brothers or sisters. She said that she had a brother and it was her and her sister. I sensed that she meant that her siblings were still alive. 

I asked her if she could see a bright light. She said yes. I told her that's where love and peace is, and that once there, she would be able to visit her parents in their dreams and talk to them and they to her. She liked that idea. 

With that, I called upon her guardian angels and angels from the light to take her to the light. Before I could finish my prayer, she got excited and said, "They're here. They're here." I felt her joy. Then she said, "Bye, bye." Off she went. 

A Math Tutor Crosses Over

 I first shared this post on Reddit a while ago. 

I work the security midnight shift at a University. It's perfect for medium work. Anyway, let me get to my story.

This last Dec 17th, Amelia approached me in the parking lot as I got out of the vehicle. I was on my way to do a round in the building where the souls of the 20 nuns are praying.

She tells me that she was a math tutor at the university and was considering to be a nun novitiate. She said she was from the 1930s era. I think it was around 1933. I forgot to as her how she died. Maybe I didn't want to know.

Amelia by EC Holm

I did ask her why she was outside and not inside the building. She said because the nuns wouldn't let her in like she wasn't one of them. I found that rather weird.

I then suggested crossing over but she wouldn't hear of it. I don't know why. She seemed to have a chatty personality. For several days, I would talk to her, mostly small talk.

On Dec 24th, we talked about her usual spot in the parking lot. There was a fire truck that went to a house across the way but there was no fire. I mentioned to her about the emergency and maybe someone died. Then I talked to her further about crossing over. She seemed to listen.

Tonight, I go to our spot in the parking lot and she's not there. I put out my feelings and found that she crossed over. I'm so proud of her.

Racial Thinking

What's this in my brain,

That keeps my mind in stain?
Why can't I praise my friend,
Who has my back to the end?
It's this racial cancer,
Cut it out, is the answer.

I'm free from the racial thought.

My friend free from my sinful plot.

Now color is a blessing not a curse.

Harmony can reign in the ‘verse.

Only you can stop the cancer in your brain.

Reject it, forsake it, become sane.

Fight through the shame.

So you can stop the pain.

EC Holm 2017

Home

Where is home?

I traveled so much in my life from such a young age that the concept of home has always been “over there” instead of “here.”

Home was a time and place of happiness that never was. As a child I imagined it existed, but as I grew up I came to realize that it was never true.

I saw the families of my friends and how happy they were. It's little wonder I would spend time in their houses rather than mine.

Now, I am married and have settled down for over a decade. I just realized home is here. Home is where love is.

The Demands of Pain

THE DEMANDS OF PAIN

Oh!

Ow!

Tender.

Cradle hurt.

Sooth.

Bargain for Brother

BARGAIN FOR BROTHER

Sweet.

Death.

Why you?

Why not me?

Man!

(cinquain in fibonacci syllabic sequence)

2015 - Year of Activity

Come with me
Come with me
To the world of your dreams
Where nothing is as it seems.

Where trees talk
And houses balk
And nothing is as it seems.

Whence comes the love
I feel none of it.
Whence comes the hope
I see it not.

Pain is the bitter friend
It will not leave till the end
There is talk but no hope to mend.

But come let us dream
Come let us dream
So nothing is as it seems.

Copyright 2015 EC Holm

This year is a year of activity.  I say that because this is the last year that I have seen when I looked into the future in 2011.  It will be a wild year.

So with it I give this advice.  Hold to your loved ones close.  Hope and love may seem scarce this year, but it's always there to be found.  Protect what you have.  On the other hand it may prove to be a year of opportunity.  I wouldn't jump into anything too hasty.  Do your homework.

Well, it has been an interesting adventure looking into the years before they happen and then living through them.  There have been some surprises along the way.  I guess 2014 caught me by surprise but shouldn't have.  Violence erupted, and it gave way to more crime.  I have no doubt that yet more violence will come in 2015.

Take care, readers.

Suffering

Some say, "If there is a God, why does the child in the wheel chair suffer?"  This is an argument against the existence of a creator or god, or whatever you want to call your higher being.  The suffering argument is compelling because, I believe, suffering is inherent with life.  Life and suffering go hand in hand.  How can I say that? Well in the areas of learning, jealousy, and situation, suffering plays huge rolls.  These three areas are experienced by everybody to some degree or another.

Teachers will tell you, that it is common to get academic problems wrong before you learn the right way.  What happens when you get a math problem wrong in class?  You suffer embarrassment and sometimes humiliation.  Your suffering becomes a motivator to learn.  Some martial arts teachers and gym trainers say where there is no pain, there is no gain.  Well, what does the child in the wheel chair do?  How does this motivation to learn help him/her?  Children are marvelous learning beings.  They will learn almost anything you teach them.  The child in the wheel chair can learn how to live in the wheel chair or learn to make a better wheelchair.  Oh but that may not what you were thinking.  You may want the child to live a normal life and able to walk without the wheelchair.   Well, let's look at the next point, jealousy.

What do you want?  How do you get to the point of wanting it?  Jealousy is wanting what others have.  It's often accompanied with the idea that you cannot get it.  Therefore, you suffer anguish and/or rage.  The question often comes up: should you have it?  A man may covet another man's wife.  That is a classic notion.  It's often the case that men lust after many men's wives.  Shhh!  That's a man's secret.  How about being jealous of the rich?  That is extremely common.  The poor suffer and don't think the rich suffer so they figure money will relieve all suffering.  This is not the case.  Rich people suffer just like poor people.  They pay bills and taxes.  They lose money.  They have relationship problems.  They have problems with their children.  They suffer disease.  They suffer anguish.  They also suffer jealousy.  It is very human to want what we cannot have.  So the child in the wheel chair also wants to walk like everybody else but cannot.  He/She can wallow in jealousy or rise above it.  Accepting your situation is important and healthy.

Everybody is in a situation.  You cannot escape.  You will always be in a situation.  The good news is that situations can be changed.  Pain is electronic stimuli to your brain indicating that there is something seriously wrong.  If we go back to the saying, "no pain, no gain," then were inclined to bear the pain.  There are many cultural influences and traditions that may make you bear the pain.  Yet, pain is due to a situation.  Many times you can change the situation to lesser the pain or get rid of it entirely.  Comfort is the opposite of pain.  Comfort is also the opposite of suffering.  Can the child in the wheelchair change that he/she is in the wheelchair.  No, he/she cannot.  Can the child in the wheelchair get more comfortable?  Yes, he/she can.  Change your situation for the better.  Even a little change helps a lot.  Of course, when there is not change to be had, and you run out of options, you would be enticed to seek the ultimate situation changer: death.  Society does not allow this, yet still there are, on average, 30,000 suicides a year in the United States.  I believe they represent 30,000 problems we have not been able to resolve yet.  These people have not found a solution to their suffering.  This is extreme suffering.  It's not their fault that they suffered.  It's our's, society's, fault that their suffering was not relieved.

Why do people suffer?  People suffer whether in great ways or small way.  All people suffer.  The big lie is that you're the only person suffering.  It's not true.  More often than not, there is a solution to your suffering if only your willing to accept it.  You can learn something new, you can accept your situation, or you can change your situation in one way or another.  I believe it is inevitable for physical life to suffer.  I believe that life is scarce in this universe.  I believe that life is a rebellion against the status quo in this realm.  Life is, and therefore life suffers.  Life fights against the entropy of thermal dynamics.  That's because life is not static.  Life wants to propagate life in every aspect of meaning.  Helping the poor, healing the sick, fighting injustice, and making babies propagates life.  Life is always fighting, therefore life is always suffering in some way.  So, going back to the notion that suffering denotes the absence of deity, I say the presence of suffering denotes life fighting something, and the presence of life denotes deity.

Constructing Your Fortress of Safety

Wouldn't you love to have a house by the ocean or a mountain with cool breeze.  Someplace to call your own and where you can be at peace?  Well, we live in the real world where people bother us, lie to us, and don't often enough seem to improve themselves.  For the Highly Sensitive Person this world is a nightmare of constant bombardment of emotions.  Having a mental place of solitude and safety can help the day to day debacle.  It's a place to go to de-stress when you can't go anywhere else.  Let's build ourselves a safe place and fill it with useful things, and this is how you do it.

Make a building.  It can be a building you know or one you make up.  Make sure that it's a building where you feel love and loved.  To help your memory, you can draw it.  Make detailed plans about it.  Then, think about the base material with which you want it built.  I like concrete.  Its strong and durable.  Large logs are also a good option.  The point is that the outer wall should be for protection from the outer world.  Imagine the outer walls.  Feel them inside and out.  Then lay a reflective shield on the outside.  Next, lay a blue inner shield on the inside.  Now you have the shell of your home, your fortress of safety.

Now lets populate the place.  Think what rooms you will need.  I personally opted for a worship room, a library, and an intimate space.  You should make rooms where you will spend some time in and use for your own needs.  Now visit each room.  Put lights in it.  Put down a nice floor and wall paneling.  Put some furniture you like in it.  You should feel comfortable in this fortress of safety.  Once your comfortable there, you will want to spend time there.

Sure it's your place and your space, but it doesn't have to be lonely in there.  Make characters that though are an extension of yourself, can do tasks for you.  I strongly recommend a guardian angel or a bodyguard of some sort.  You never know when you might get an unexpected visitor that plans to stay.  Bodyguards are good to throw out unwanted guests.

I have always heard that it is good to keep your house in order.  Keeping your mind in order is also good.  This method is a 3 dimensional way of doing that.  Since I have started residing in my house in my mind, I have been more at peace and less affected  by the world around me. 

Change Your World

We all would like some control over our world.  We would like children that listen to us, parents that don't embrace us, bosses who encourage us, etc.  Dream on, right?  Well, maybe.  I saw a documentary called Killer Stress by National Geographic (2008).  It comfirmed to me what my life has taught me and what people deny.  We don't need an alpha dominate society.  Therefore I say, you can change your world or environment to get it away from alpha domination.  I would like to share with you how this is possible.  I'm going to spell out the problem and give some tips on how to combat it.

First, what do I mean by alpha dominant society?  Well, this can be any size society: from a family to a global organization.  The dominant individuals in a hierarchy are called alphas.  The alphas have subordinates and there are subordinates to the first subordinates and so on.  This apparently happens naturally among primates.  My guess is that it happens in many animal societies.  An alpha dominates its subordinates with violence and fear.  We can see the same thing happen in High School with the action of bullying.  The alpha wants to dominate rather than be dominated.  According to the documentary this causes stress for subordinates which could lead to early death.

Cliques are formed by alphas.  Some cliques become gangs, some become political parties, and some become religions.  Actually they become many things.  In forming a cliques the alpha will recruit people to join in.  Here is my first tip.  Don't join.  Don't play their game.  Play your own game.  If we're going to be evolved humans that think for themselves, we have to act like one.  An evolved society shows mutual support and respect.  Alphas beat down on their subjects whether physically or emotionally.  An evolved society builds up people.  Once you reject the Alphas' proposal, they know you are not under their control.

You should actively pursue mutual support amongst your peers.  Show support to all of them.  Soon you may get support back.  This will take time.  You can show support by actively listening to them, empathizing with them, and respecting their positions.  This shows to all that you have a different thing going on than the established hierarchy.  People will naturally gravitate towards positive support.  Refrain from yelling, or raising your voice.  Give people time to think about things rather than trying to convince people of your point in conversation.  Allow people to have different opinions.  Allow yourself to listen to their points as well.  Using communication wisely is the key to change a society.

Respect all people even when you don't like them.  In an evolved society, respecting everyone is key.  People have wants and needs.  They have a need to be heard, they have a need to be respected, and they have a need to feel safe.  Communicating with them in a respectful way gives them all these needs.  People use violence when they feel threatened.  Removing all threats from your communication will resolve a lot of tension.  There are opponents in history who didn't like each other but respected each other.  General Patton and General Montgomery comes to mind.  These two generals of WWII didn't like each other.  They had very different styles of command.  Yet had to rely on each other in fighting the Germans in North Africa.  Military officers will respect each other even if they may use terms like "fool" to describe each other.  You can respect someone you don't like.  This is very important.  If you disrespect someone your going to start a war, or feed into the alpha hierarchical system.

Understanding the nature of alpha domination, applying 'play your own game', learning to listen, and giving respect are a start of changing a society.  Alpha domination is the default architecture to a chaotic society.  To change society we have apply support with diligence and patience.  One day we can have a society that will be encouraging rather than dog eat dog.

Primary Perception and Sensitives

Cleve Backster discovered Primary Perception with a lie detector, plants and other lifeforms.  This is a controversial theory.  When the scientific method is used as experiments, repeatability is a serious problem.  Any plant grower can tell you that plant respond to their environment.  Amount of sun light, types of soil, amount of water are factors in how plants respond.  Some plant are described as fickle, like the African Violet.  Perhaps that's why the University of Rhode Island recommends pasteurizing the soil for these house plants.  As an empath I can concur with Backster in that plant do have emotions and do communicate, but they do this in their own way.  I would like to share what I found out about them, what we know about them, and why I think the experiments are not adequate.

Common trees are the plants that I've felt.  Empaths feel emotion and are great listeners and communicators by nature.  We can just about relate to anyone.  Through my experiences, I find that the basis of thought is emotion.  That is contrary to popular belief.  Trees don't relate like we do.  Their timeline is much longer than ours.  They are not concerned about many things, but they do live in the present.  They are joyous with the sun, and they are quiet in the winter.  They are aware of themselves and trees around them.  When they are sick, they feel ill and don't want anyone to be around them.  Their emotion follows their looks.  Humans have are able to look at a tree and determine its state for may centuries.  The ground around them they consider to be theirs since their root system is in it.  I guess you can say that they are territorial.

Science does say that trees are alive.  They grow and reproduce.  In their own way, they also move.  Humans can look at a tree and determine its state of health.  Trees are made up of many cells and lack a central nervous system.  There are animals in the ocean that look like and act like one animal but in reality are a community of animals.  In a similar way, the cells of a tree work together to collect nutrients and gasses and light for the common good.  A government is not an one organism, but made up of many people in different functions all working together with all kinds of communication going on.  How do the cells of a tree work together unless they communicate somehow?  If the cells communicate with each other, what bars them form communicating with other lifeforms especially of their own species?  Humans don't readily communicate with trees, so its logical that they consider trees as non-communicative beings.  That would be due to ignorance rather than science.

So why would the science be so inconclusive?  I think one of the problems is the assumptions of the experiments and the experimenters.  If we are talking about communication beyond our five senses, and we are using our five senses then we are doomed to failure.  Even our electronic equipment have not been vetted to detect such communications.  We assume they are.  We assume it must be electromagnetic communication.  We assume that brain waves we know of are the only form of communication beyond the five senses.  I say we assume too much.  When the experiments are inconclusive then there is more research to be done.  There is more to be learned.  There is likely a whole field of study that we know nothing about that we need to explore.  Another problem is that when were talking intuition, analytical science fails to understand.  Science is a total analytical process.  Intuition does not obey the rules of analytics.  Its like trying to understand quantum mechanics with Newtonian Physics.  It just doesn't work.  Computer programmers try to get around the gap between the way a computer process information and our analytical operating of our brains by using fuzzy logic and other AI techniques in programs and devices.  Can Science take the same leap?  I believe they were able to do it in Physics by revisiting their assumptions.  They added probability to the equations.  This, Einstein notoriously hated.  A new approach to investigate Primary Perception is needed.

So Primary Perception just might prove to be a real thing one day.  Trees are living beings and empaths can pick up on their emotions.  Just because science produces inconclusive experiments doesn't mean that's the end of the story.  Reevaluation of assumptions and means of measuring is needed to create experiments that can have a positive result.

Old Emotion

When your hit with a very deep old emotion.  These are hidden issues in life.  They tend to make you feel funny or strange.  On the surface you feel fine, but deep, deep inside there's a storm raging.  It's quite an odd feeling experience.  Sometimes this happens to me.  Once, I had to take action, and I knew there was going to be a bad result for a particular person.  I had been working with this person for a long time.  The patterns  that arose in them were self destructive in nature.  In the end, there was nothing I could do about it.  It's like watching a train wreck in very slow motion.  The guilt emotions came up even though I see I had done everything I knew to do.  These guilt emotions were familiar to me.  When I was very young, my parents divorced.  The guilt feelings developed then; now they were back.  This is nothing less than emotional trauma.  After consulting with my highly sensitive friends (hsps, empaths), I figured out how to deal with the situation.  I'll talk about the symptoms, the investigation, and the recovery of this trauma.

The first thing I want to talk about is the symptoms.  For me the symptoms were emotional and a little weird.  Overall I felt fine, but the underline emotion was not fine at all.  I could sense that.   I couldn't shake my mood.  It was like my emotional being was preoccupied, and it couldn't handle any new emotional situations.  So I was not myself.  In that state you question what could be the matter.  I had to rationally think of what the matter was.  I could not use my intuition to help with that but I had to use my analytical brain.  A sense of panic was starting to come over me, and a sense of hopelessness as well.

To get a handle on my emotional situation, I had to go into a deep meditation state and started to ask questions to myself.  These were inquisitive and investigative questions.  I got my answer.  It was guilt I was experiencing.  Then I kept on asking questions on why the guilt was.  I got my answer again.  It was a guilt pattern as when my parents divorced.  To me that was a revelation.  Years before, I wondered if I experienced guilt due to the divorce.  I was very young and did not remember much from that time.  I only remembered some glimpses of scenes.  You really don't want to remember the bad stuff.  Sometimes you just blank out the bad stuff, but emotional evidence of them will probably remain.

The first step of recovery for me was in the meditative state.  I reasoned out my feeling of guilt.  I told myself that my parents divorce was not my responsibility and was not my fault.  Surprisingly that went quite well.  I suppose it's because over the years I gathered enough information about the divorce, and I reasoned how it indeed was not my fault.  So it seems though I knew that, I still had a pattern of guilt operating in me.  Now I was dealing with it.  Then I had to move on to the more recent situation.  I told myself that I was not responsible for the outcome and that I did do what I needed to do.  That I also did everything in my power to make things better.  That was the first step.  The next steps is day by day living with the outcome.  Though I feel fine, I do have a residual feeling that I went through something very traumatic.  So I have to take it easy.  I have to do some grounding exercises, and push out the old emotion to move on.  It's a struggle, I have to admit.  It will take time to fully recover.

Trauma of any kind has symptoms, needs an investigation, and demands a recovery.  Emotional trauma is not different.  You may experience some emotional shock.  Make sure that you keep yourself comfortable, warm, and hydrated.  Talk to others to help sort out the pieces.  Seeking help from a psychological counselor is a good idea.  These old emotions are wounds that have festered over years.  Recovery won't be immediate, but immediate headway is possible.  I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist.  I'm just a highly sensitive person sharing my experiences, recommendations, and opinions.

Thinking Through Conflicts

I react to people who push my buttons.  I suppose everyone does.  It's hard in such situations. If you've been there, then you know.  When you react to these things, you do what your pre-set 'programming' says to do.  You vigorously defend yourself.  Then afterwords you feel bad about it when you look over the astonished faces of those around you and you have to deal with the aftermath.  It comes as a surprise to you and to them.  How do you deal with this situation could dictate what your relationship to these people will be.  I recommend excusing yourself and getting away to think it over for a couple of hours.  When you do this you will go through many emotions and plausible plans and outcomes.  Let me give you some advice on how to successfully go through this with minimal damage and maybe come out in a positive light.

After getting away and start to think about what happened, you going to go through some shock and anger.  Your imaginings may shock you because your going to think of extremely extreme things to do that may not be totally legal if at all.  When I go through this, this phase always shocks me and I feel embarrassed of the thoughts.  I think its OK to go through this phase as long as you get to the next phase.  I feel that this phase is the hardest because the strongest emotions are coming out.  These emotion seem to be reactionary emotion.  They do have meaning and should not totally be dismissed, but they shouldn't be acted upon.  The point is that you have been hurt.

To get to the next phase, which is an intermediary phase, you have to tell yourself that your hurt and now it's OK, that your safe.  Then you have to tell yourself that there's a better way to deal with the situation.  Next come the thoughts that evaluate your current situation in a broader aspect.  You start identifying the different people involved and those who could get involved.  You start to think of things to tell the authority whether it's your boss, parent, or even police.  In this phase it's good to seek advice from a trusted friend.  This allows you to express what is going on in your life and helps you think through this phase.  You will come up with ways that may be drastic though legal to retaliate and get revenge or even protection.  If you think through these ideas you will find that they will hurt relationships.  Those relationships include the one with the offender (the person who's pushing your buttons), and your relationship with the authority, and your piers or friends.  In the past I have not moved on from this phase and acted on the thoughts and ended relationships drastically.  It is much much better to say NO to these thoughts and move on to the next phase.  The point here is that your identifying all the direct and indirect players and their positions.

This third phase is a rational phase.  This is where your going to come up with your best ideas.  To get here you need to tell yourself that you really don't want to hurt anyone.  Realize that strife begets strife, that is, if you hurt someone chances are they are going to hurt someone and maybe you.  No, hurting is not the answer.  Empaths and highly sensitive people (HSP) generally don't want to hurt people, but rather prefer healing.  The thoughts in this phase may come as some form of communication which can be verbal and/or non-verbal.  You may choose to tell the person who hurt you to stop hurting you.  You have to gauge this though.  You can use words directly, or you can use body language.  That is, you can walk away or disregard the person when you see they are about to push your buttons.  You also can avoid the person for a time, and later find a way to heal the relationship communicating that you were hurt.  What your doing is a form of punishment on the person.  Everyone has authority on their own person.  You choose who you have a relationship with and who you don't want a relationship with and what kind of relationship that is.  I'm not necessarily talking about love, because love involves a mutual agreement to love each other.  This is more of interpersonal relationship.  Whatever you choose you want to choose a thought that first hurts the least amount of people, and hopefully no one at all.  Second, you want that thought to have some benefit to yourself and the other parties.  Then relationships are strengthened and respect is also strengthened.  The point is to find a win-win situation.

Yes, it's hard when people push your buttons.  It's even a sign that your being bullied.  Taking the necessary steps to think through what your going to do and taking time to think through is important.  Getting to the good thought where relationships are strengthened is preferred.  At first you may feel like the perpetrator, but you have to concede that your also a victim.  If your good thought does not work, then you have your other thoughts in the second phase that should work, but relationships won't be helped.  I think when these things happen they give us an opportunity to grow and become stronger and wiser.  Your wounds will heal through this process.  Some wounds though never heal and you carry them with you all your life, but thinking these actions through can minimize those.  This is a serene subject to write about and think about.  Let's not the hurt build up to some grievous action.  Let's mend the broken hearts.

Understanding Emotion

How should we, as a society, understand emotion?  Why am I asking this question?  We take emotion for granted without really studying it.  We have moments of fear, happiness, sadness, joy, jealousy, elation, and many more emotions.  But what is emotion?  In the 1960's science fiction played with the entity that had no emotion, they also played with entities that could feel other people's emotion.  Emotion has been on people's brains for a long time.  There are a great many theories of emotion in the medical and psychological fields.  Just check out the wiki on emotion.  Seeing that it is a subject that is studied and used in so many fields would lead you to believe that emotion is innate to humans, and you would be right, but lacking.  Why would you be lacking?  As an empath, I see that animals and plants also have emotion, and that emotion lingers in places where people use to be.  In my experiences, I came to the conclusion that emotion is a language of its own.  It is a language of this universe.  I want to discuss my experiences with emotion in the areas of space-time, telepathy, and sharing emotion with other entities to show how I understand emotion as a highly sensitive person.  Here is a warning, this has nothing to do with science as our society understands it today.

Emotion is energy.  Energy exists in space-time. Like lingering footprints in the forest, emotion lingers in places.  When you enter in a room, do you feel the atmosphere?  I feel the atmosphere of an office, and its different than that of a movie-theater, which in turn is different than that of a stage theater. Depending on what goes on in a room will dictate the emotion.  These are rooms that have the same thing go on in them day after day and night after night.  Once I did an experiment.  I stood outside a building and closed my eyes and got into a meditative state.  I then focused on the building and counted people I sensed in a large room.  I then went inside and check for the results and I was right.  I was able to count the people currently in the room with my eyes closed.  The experience was interesting because in sensing the people they were like blobs or mounds of emotion.  When I counted I counted each mound.  The rest of the room had emotion as well but of a lesser degree so the people stood out.  Another time I wondered how we can pick up on emotion that is on a different time.  If you remember some fond memory, you feel what you felt back then.  Sometimes you can smell what you smelt back then.  If you read about a historical figure and then focus on that person and an incident, you start to get some feelings.  I believe we can pick up the emotion of those in the past even if we did not experience them ourselves.  Two specific incidents that easily conjure up emotion are the sinking of the Titanic and the first flight at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.  Anyone can immediately pinpoint the time, the place, and even the emotion with those events.  Excitement and awe at Kitty Hawk.  Sadness, anger, duty at the Titanic.  Both have a sense of trepidation.  It's just like being there.  This is what I mean when I say emotion exists in space-time.  Many say, 'I wish I could go back to that time and place and witness.'  For sensitives, the brain is a time machine.  In this way, I concur with the movie Somewhere in Time, which is a story of a man finding love in a timeslip.  I don't think interaction is possible this way but observing the past is by experiencing the emotion of the past.

Telepahy, is defined as communication between minds by some means other than sensory perception.  We  have some fanciful ways of thinking what telepathy is in practice thanks to television shows and movies.  The way I have experienced telepathy is by communicating with plants, animals, and suggestive messages.  At this point I understand if you think I'm out of my mind and that such things are not possible.  Not everyone acknowledges these things.  In this area is where I realized that emotion is truly a language.  I had had communication with trees, that is putting my back against them and just listen to their emotion.  I did find out that sick trees feel sour, and bigger trees in are stronger than their surrounding smaller trees.  The other thing that I found out is that time for trees is much much longer than for people.  I shan't go into details of my communications with trees at the risk of sounding even more bizarre than I do.  One night I was walking when I got a sensational chill down my spine.  I stopped and wondered what it was.  I looked around and there was a cat staring at me.  It occurred to me that the chill came from the cat.  I sent a telepathic message saying hi.  I got another chill in response.  I couldn't make out the message of the cat.  I suppose it uses a different style of language than I do.  My telepathy is English riding on emotion.  To linguist that may not sound right, but to people who have studied radio waves and frequencies that makes sense.  You see you can have a radio program in different human languages, but the language that the radio understands is the that of radio waves.  The radio on the other hand doesn't interpret video signal on the radio waves.  I suppose its the same difference between humans and cats as it is between audio signals and video signals.  Now with humans, telepathy is interesting.  I have not sat down in one room and tried to telepathically communicate with another person in another room.  Instead, I have sent suggestive messages via telepathy. The messages I send out are real short and to people that I can see.  For example in grocery stores, I typically would tell someone I'm coming up to that I'm going a certain route and if they could get out of the way.  They usually do.  I've noticed that normal people can get the messages, if they are open to them.  The ones that don't get the message are usually non-sensitives, that is those who are not sensitive at all.  It is rather fun sending out a quick message and seeing that a person gets it and responds accordingly.

Another way I understanding emotion is by sharing it.  For instance, I already mentioned that I put my back against a tree and feel its emotion.  In that instance I'm sharing the emotion of the tree.  The effect is that it helps me calm down.  Even when I detach from the tree I still feel the lingering emotion in me.  I also share in the emotion of other people.  If a person is excited then I get excited.  If they get angry, I get angry.  Most of this is involuntary as it is for most highly sensitive people.  I share the emotion of a room of people whether it's a concert, theater, or a meeting.  In crowds I get exited because of all the emotion floating around.  When I feel safe around people I will let their emotion flow through me, but when I feel threatened I will put up a shield.  This sharing emotions is innate in highly sensitive people.

So I shared how I experience emotion in the areas of space-time, telepathy, and sharing emotion.  Everyone is different.  Your experiences are probably different than mine.  I just wish the rest of the world would learn to understand how emotion works so we would stop stepping on each-others' toes.

Self Examination

Do you get angry when people cut you off in traffic?  Do you cut people off in traffic?  Well let's not talk about fingering people or road rage because they can't get off the cell phone waiting at a light that has already turned green or texting on the highway with the elbows on the wheel.  No, this is not about traffic but this is about the very human tendency to apply rules to others and not to ourselves.  The religious word for this is hypocrisy.  The reality is that its a very human thing to do and probably innate to our nature in order to get ahead and survive.  Yet mature empaths and enlightened individuals should treat others as they would want to be treated (the golden rule).  The answer to this is self examination.  The way to do this is: by evaluating your emotional state when it comes to each issue; by recognizing that you are in a state of development; and by training yourself to change.


Say you find that your loved one seems annoying when they ask for something.  In such a situation ask yourself why does this bother you.  What fear do you have.  Is your fear founded in reality?  That is will your loved one behave or think of you in the way you fear?  This is the evaluating part.  These are hard questions.  If you feel that the situation is severe or your having trouble evaluating something perhaps it is time to seek professional help in a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist.  Self evaluating is emotional and can be draining.  You may want to take your time with it.

How do you view yourself? Do you feel altogether and in need of no-one's help?  Do you feel inadequate?  Do you feel out of place?  However you feel about yourself, you should understand that your in a process of development.  That is, your on a journey to better yourself and you may not reach your ultimate destination in this lifetime.  Yet, it's the journey that matters.  Sometimes you get off course or even realize that a change in course is what is needed all along.  The point is that your working on it and learning as you go.  Who could fault you for that?  Understanding that your in a state of development is important to the self examination process.  It allows you to make mistakes and correct them and also to come up with some accomplished goals.  If you stop this learning process then you will not move forward, and you could get depressed.

Deciding on an action to take really depends on the situation.  If it is a case of how you think, then coaching reason into your thinking could be the answer.  If it is an act that you do, then training yourself to do an alternative act could be the answer.  You have to decide the course of action to take.  In any case, training yourself takes time.  It gets easier as time goes on, but you have to stay with it until its second nature.

 

Self examination is a good process to do.  Through evaluating yourself, understanding your state of development, and training yourself are simple steps to understand, but they take some courage and some work to get through them.  I examine myself many times and often.  That is excessive, I know.  You may want to do self examination maybe once or twice a year.  Don't discount what other people say about you, especially if they say the same thing and have no connection to each other.  Often, the help of others in this is important.  This process is a good way to get balance in your life.

Strong or Loud Emotion Friends

Everyone is different.  Everyone has a unique emotional signature.  On top of that everyone emits more or less emotion.  It's hard for empaths to be around strong or loud emotion people.  I will define these people and give a couple of suggestions on how to handle the situation.

So, what do I mean by strong or loud emotion?  Well, empaths like me pick up on people's emotions unconsciously.  Some people have a very strong signature.  I liken it to sound.  If you stand next to a person who speaks really loud, that's what its like.  The loudness distracts you.  The person may be a very nice and considerate person, but they are loud.  The same is true with emotion signatures.  Empaths can get distracted if someone with a strong or loud emotion is next to them.  I remember one time I was correcting a test when one of my students came up and stood close to me without me seeing them.  I immediately lost my train of thought due the the strong emotion signature this person emitted.  I ended up taking a couple of deep breaths to get in the right mind to deal with the situation.

Say your an empath and have reason to befriend a strong emotion person.  What do you do?  The emotion will distract and tire you out.  What you do is that you learn to let the emotion flow through you without you taking action on it or owning it.  I call this emotion flow.  This takes considerable practice.  You have to tell yourself that it's OK, and that it's not yours.  This helps relieve the desire to jump back or pull away.

The other thing to do is to practice quick meditation.  This also takes practice.  It's when you take a couple of timed breaths and you fall into a meditative state on the fly.  This is really practical and helps alleviate the need to react.  To practice this I recommend getting into a meditative state often during the day.  Taking timed breaths is a quick way to get to it.  I usually breath in for 4 seconds, then hold for 4 seconds, and breath out for 4 seconds.  If your out of practice, it may take you 10 to 20 breaths to get into a meditative state.  With practice you can get there in just 2.

Knowing what to look for in a strong or loud emotion person will help you take action with meditation and emotion flow.  These are good tools for everyday activities to go along with your routine of grounding or centering.  If your an empath and find that you are not handling it well, take breaks from people several times a day.  Work on getting grounded.  Remember that everyone is different.  So you may find you have to modify techniques you hear from me or others to suit your own situation and person.  Life is more fun when you can enjoy your surroundings.

Letting Go

There are an innumerable amount of incidents that occur just because someone is unwilling to let go.  Spouses argue and fight, parents and children clash, even professionals fight with the bosses or piers when they have to give up control on something they've been working on for a while.  Empaths are not immune to this.  I had a recent episode and I learned a couple of things how to deal with it.  Though I still have to prove my techniques, I have uses two and things are going well so far.  I want to share with you what these techniques are and how they work together.

The first one is what I term returning intention.  In my case, I took responsibility for someone for the longest time and effectively mentored them.  Now they are doing well, but I still see mistakes and areas where they could do much better.  I became critical and it came out in the form of a spat.  So what's happening is that my intention (or manifestation) on this person has been there for so long, I was still acting on it when it was unnecessary.  So I returned the intention to myself, effectively recalling it so it has no more action.  After doing this I instantly felt better about the matter.

The second technique was emotion flowing.  After having a spat with someone, you may feel insecure about being around them.  Since being around a friend should be a safe environment, emotion flowing should be appropriate.  This is where your near the person and let their emotions or energies flow through you without you grabbing hold of them.  Instead you just let them flow in and out of you.  This is a 'hands off' approach.  At the same time you get used to their emotions and energies and over time become comfortable with them. 

Returning intention and emotion flowing allows you to let go.  One relieves you of the responsibility, and the other helps mend and transform the relationship to something more positive.  At the same time the other person will feel more free around you.  Being empowered and having freedom are great gifts in life.

Practicing returning intention and emotion flowing help you to let go of you matured proteges.  Richard Bach wrote "If you love someone, set them free.  If they come back they're yours;  if they don't they never were."  Letting go is one of the great lessons in life.  The more willing we are to let go, the less arguments and incidents we will have.

Emotion Literacy

In this analytically society based on reason and science, there are oasis of emotional communication.  Some are bars, sports events, clubs, religious get-togethers, game night, or a dinner party.  At these we let our hair down and say what's on our minds with little consideration of the consequences.  We communicate our fears, concerns, hopes, and dreams.  It seems we need an excuse to communicate emotionally.  What if society communicated emotionally on a daily basis?  What if our fears, concerns, hopes, and dreams could be related every day to our friends, co-workers, and love ones?  Sounds scary?  Well, it could be at first, but I believe it could revolutionize our society.  Opening up communications about our concerns can be very therapeutic.  It can also give new ideas to businesses, shore up risks, and foster synergic efforts.  In order to do this people need to be educated on Emotion Literacy.  Emotion Literacy is all about reading people and their emotional state, interacting withe them using empathy, and build solutions and conclusions out of the conversation.

 How do you read people?  For Empaths it comes naturally to read and listen to people's emotions.  For non-Empaths it may take more of an effort, but it can be done.  The key to reading people is first to shut up and second to consider the other person.  To all my fellow talkers and extroverts, I say with all the love and humility in the world, "SHUT UP!"  When you have someone in front of you, you need to be quiet and listen before speaking.  Knowing when to speak, is a key skill to be heard effectively.  To the introverts I ask to withhold judgment until you get the full message.  Often times people need to vent about something that is causing them stress in their lives.  Listening to them eases that stress.  When you listen to someone remember to take in the whole person, that is not only their words but tone as well, their body language, and their facial expressions.  Empaths also take in the person's emotion since they can feel what the person feels as the conversation progresses.  You may ask yourself what is this person actually saying, and how do I summarize what their message is?  These are key questions to answer as your listening.

How does one interact with Empathy?  This Empathy is 'walking in their shoes'.  This means to imagine going through what they are saying they went through.  How did they feel?  What were the circumstances?  What was the outcome?  What could have been done better?  I think this is also as skill Empaths need to learn.  Empaths naturally will listen and not do much else.  They will feel emotion of the person and thus have a deeper experience in listening, but they tend not to think about how things could have been better.  Yes, this skill normal people call Empathy requires analysis.  You have to use the analytical brain to interpret what is going on and what could be done.  The outcome of using Empathy puts you side by side with the person as a friend, confidant, and guide.  That means there is an amount of responsibility on your part.  The other person most always appreciates any Empathy they can get even if they don't say so.

How do you build solutions and conclusions?  This skill is an active one.  You listen and you submit ideas and opinions.  You also acknowledge all the points of the other person.  You make known the points you agree with.  All the while you keep using both reading and empathy skills.  Where you end up in the conversation may surprise you and the other person as well.  What your doing is building.  You are building up the person and yourself at the same time.

The Emotion Literacy I'm defining here is made up of reading people, using empathy, and actively building.  I just looked up Emotion Literacy and got a wiki page. I believe that what I wrote here is in concert with the definition of that wiki page.  The difference is that I'm giving practical advice to use in an interpersonal communication setting, that is talking to someone one on one.  Like any interpersonal communication skill, using the advice here takes practice.  I believe you would see how effective this is.  I use this on a daily basis with people I meet, and the rewards are many.

Interpersonal For A Better World....

Remember the saying 'Can't we all just get along?'  It used to be a popular saying in the '80s.  Ok, why can't we?  I have one idea, that people are in their own worlds and are disconnected emotionally from everyone else, or at least from people around them everyday.  Social internet was supposed to connect people, and it does but mostly in a superficial way.  It's that way not because of the internet, but because of the habits people have developed in communicating.  The worst habit of all is not listening.  Listening is fundamental to empathy.  Listening requires being quiet and contemplating what the other person's position or argument is.  It requires some halt to self, and some pause on our impulse to comment.  Now, most people think that listening involves ears.  Well, it does, but not just ears, it also involves eyes, nose, touch, the brain, and even emotion.  Yes, emotion.  How does one listen to someone's emotion and what does it have to do with people getting along?

Let's tackle the first part of the question.  Have you ever had a nagging feeling that someone was watching you, and then you looked and someone was staring at you?  Well, you've picked up on their emotion.  People transmit brain waves all the time.  It's not a hard stretch to realize a brain can receive brain waves from another brain as well as transmit them.  So when your conversing with another person realize that the feelings you feel are not only yours but theirs as well.  This becomes clear when you pause your thinking brain and just listen.  The process of transmitting and receiving emotion is an on-going one.  People have emotions, and they transmit them, and it just takes a listening brain to start to interpret them.  The biggest hindrance to interpreting emotion is unbelief.  Unbelief stems from selfishness.  That is being concerned mainly about ourselves.  Putting that part of ourselves on hold is key.  Once that is done, we are ready to get those brain waves to help us experience what the other person is experiencing.  This is not mind-reading as depicted in movies.  These emotions are on the current emotions we all experience.

What would the world be like if we really listened to each other's emotions?  Listening involves all inputs including listening to emotion.  What we are talking about is interpersonal communication.  Listening to emotion is different than hearing what a person says, than a person's facial expressions, than picking up on subtle odors, or even than feeling them tremble.  Listening to their emotion lets us have a sense of experience to what their talking about.  It's like the difference from reading a good story to seeing the story as a movie, or seeing the story as a movie and playing the story as an immersed 3D computer game.  We're there.  This will innately help us understand the other person.  This is true empathy.  I believe that the act of listening to one another's emotions fosters reason rather than competition, intelligent argument rather than heightened emotions, and a spirit of working together rather than working against each other.  Being heard and understood is a basic human social need.  When that need is met we feel we are part of a community, and when that need is not met we feel we don't belong.  Listening has the power to create community.

By listening to one anther and listening to each other's emotions is key to fostering community.  So to answer the question 'Can't we just get along,' we can if we listen.

Early Spring, Renewed Reminder

Spring is early this year.  I went to the park and noticed that shrubs, grass, and trees are blooming.  Wild life is out and about.  This all means an influx of emotion has come.  That is emotion from nature.  It was in a Spring when I learned a certain technique to cope with the increased emotion.  This Spring I was reminded of the technique.  I call the technique disconnect and I want to explain it.

Of all the emotions out there, plants are the calmest.  They tend to sooth humans and animal alike.  For empaths any influx of emotion can be harmful or at least distraughting.  Since plants are calm and do not pose a threat toward humans, but rather could benefit humans, I came up with disconnect.

Disconnect is where you let your guard down.  You disattach from emotion.  You let the emotion flow through you.  It is quite an intense feeling.  Plant emotion flows like rivers of water.  The biggest step is to disattach from emotion.  I liken it to getting into a pool for the first time.  You know that water drowns people, but you want to learn to swim.  You sum up the courage to get into the water and step by step you learn to swim.  Disattaching requires a level of trepidation.

I have taken this disconnect a step further with plants.  I put one hand on a trunk of a tree while standing and let the engergy of the tree flow through my hand, down my torso and out my foot.  It's quite an experience.  When I do this my body absorbs some of the energy and for a while I will feel like a tree even after I let it.  The funny thing is that some animals like rabbits have come closer to me when I felt like a tree.  They seem to thing that I was tree kind.

Empathic disconnect is an interesting technique.  I explained how to start on it.  You may be able to use this in cases where you deem there is no danger.  It also allows you to take on the base emotion signature of others, so you can be like a chameleon.  I think I will play around with it some more this year.