Insensitivity

Insensitivity is rampant in our society.  We tolerate narcissists and bullies.  We develop some bad learned behaviors as a result.  Pushing, screaming, shouting and other behavior stem from anger.  The anger is because we feel we're not listened to.  These learned behaviors we pass on to our children as they grow, and they in turn pass them on to their children.  We tend to be inconsiderate of peoples' feelings, desires, and needs.  We are led to believe that we have free reign over anyone who says yes to our smallest request.  There are three ways you can counter the insensitivity in yourself once you realize you need to.  The three ways are meditation, listen to people, and considering their situation.

Daily meditation helps stop the bad behavior.  Simple basic meditation is all that is needed to calm and quieten your mind.  Once the mind is quiet, then teaching it new things can begin. You can tell yourself what is OK and what is not OK.  For instance, you can tell yourself that it's OK to feel anger, but it's not OK to take anger out on someone.  In this way you can calm your nerves as well, and refocus.  If you have too much energy, push it out of yourself as you meditate.  Let the world at large absorb it.

Listening to people is key for healing.  When your talking to someone, do not only listen with your ears, but with your eyes, and feelings as well.  Take in the verbal and the non-verbal communication.  What is his/her face like, what are his/her hands doing, and what story is his/her body motion telling?  If your a sensitive or empath, read what their feelings are.  Take the whole person in.  It's important to not respond with anger.  You can have strong energy, but be mindful of how the other person reacts to it.  Above all, learn to acknowledge what they are saying with nods and saying the occasional 'yes'.  You might want to repeat what they are saying to you so you both know you have the message clear.

Consider the situation of the person your talking to.  I mean, see it from their point of view.  Then tell them what your seeing.  They may brighten up and appreciate that you indeed understand them.  Once you do this then usually something magical happens.  They start to listen to you.  You get to share your point of view, whether you agree or disagree with theirs.

Using meditation, listening, and empathy can help turn around those bad behaviors.  You can become a great communicator.  If someones verbal, non-verbal, and emotional communication do not agree, do not trust what they are saying.  When people are honest all their communication ways agree.  This is about retraining yourself after being affected by the narcissists and bullies.  You can only make yourself better.

Strong or Loud Emotion Friends

Everyone is different.  Everyone has a unique emotional signature.  On top of that everyone emits more or less emotion.  It's hard for empaths to be around strong or loud emotion people.  I will define these people and give a couple of suggestions on how to handle the situation.

So, what do I mean by strong or loud emotion?  Well, empaths like me pick up on people's emotions unconsciously.  Some people have a very strong signature.  I liken it to sound.  If you stand next to a person who speaks really loud, that's what its like.  The loudness distracts you.  The person may be a very nice and considerate person, but they are loud.  The same is true with emotion signatures.  Empaths can get distracted if someone with a strong or loud emotion is next to them.  I remember one time I was correcting a test when one of my students came up and stood close to me without me seeing them.  I immediately lost my train of thought due the the strong emotion signature this person emitted.  I ended up taking a couple of deep breaths to get in the right mind to deal with the situation.

Say your an empath and have reason to befriend a strong emotion person.  What do you do?  The emotion will distract and tire you out.  What you do is that you learn to let the emotion flow through you without you taking action on it or owning it.  I call this emotion flow.  This takes considerable practice.  You have to tell yourself that it's OK, and that it's not yours.  This helps relieve the desire to jump back or pull away.

The other thing to do is to practice quick meditation.  This also takes practice.  It's when you take a couple of timed breaths and you fall into a meditative state on the fly.  This is really practical and helps alleviate the need to react.  To practice this I recommend getting into a meditative state often during the day.  Taking timed breaths is a quick way to get to it.  I usually breath in for 4 seconds, then hold for 4 seconds, and breath out for 4 seconds.  If your out of practice, it may take you 10 to 20 breaths to get into a meditative state.  With practice you can get there in just 2.

Knowing what to look for in a strong or loud emotion person will help you take action with meditation and emotion flow.  These are good tools for everyday activities to go along with your routine of grounding or centering.  If your an empath and find that you are not handling it well, take breaks from people several times a day.  Work on getting grounded.  Remember that everyone is different.  So you may find you have to modify techniques you hear from me or others to suit your own situation and person.  Life is more fun when you can enjoy your surroundings.

Letting Go

There are an innumerable amount of incidents that occur just because someone is unwilling to let go.  Spouses argue and fight, parents and children clash, even professionals fight with the bosses or piers when they have to give up control on something they've been working on for a while.  Empaths are not immune to this.  I had a recent episode and I learned a couple of things how to deal with it.  Though I still have to prove my techniques, I have uses two and things are going well so far.  I want to share with you what these techniques are and how they work together.

The first one is what I term returning intention.  In my case, I took responsibility for someone for the longest time and effectively mentored them.  Now they are doing well, but I still see mistakes and areas where they could do much better.  I became critical and it came out in the form of a spat.  So what's happening is that my intention (or manifestation) on this person has been there for so long, I was still acting on it when it was unnecessary.  So I returned the intention to myself, effectively recalling it so it has no more action.  After doing this I instantly felt better about the matter.

The second technique was emotion flowing.  After having a spat with someone, you may feel insecure about being around them.  Since being around a friend should be a safe environment, emotion flowing should be appropriate.  This is where your near the person and let their emotions or energies flow through you without you grabbing hold of them.  Instead you just let them flow in and out of you.  This is a 'hands off' approach.  At the same time you get used to their emotions and energies and over time become comfortable with them. 

Returning intention and emotion flowing allows you to let go.  One relieves you of the responsibility, and the other helps mend and transform the relationship to something more positive.  At the same time the other person will feel more free around you.  Being empowered and having freedom are great gifts in life.

Practicing returning intention and emotion flowing help you to let go of you matured proteges.  Richard Bach wrote "If you love someone, set them free.  If they come back they're yours;  if they don't they never were."  Letting go is one of the great lessons in life.  The more willing we are to let go, the less arguments and incidents we will have.